NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis
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Gibbs: Get Tony and Ziva out of bed.
McGee: What? Oh, you want me to get them out of bed. Because it's the middle of the night. Their individual beds.

Gibbs: You only take on cases which cross my path.
Hart: Don't flatter yourself.
Gibbs: You're standing in my house!

Gibbs: You've been distracted by your father.
Tony: It's that obvious?

Tony: I have to break one of your rules, boss. Number six: never say you're sorry. I let things get out of control in the hotel room.
Gibbs: Ah, it's covered. Rule eighteen.
Tony: Oh, yeah. It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. Am I forgiven?
Gibbs: No.

Ziva: Why do I have to study all this and you don't?!
Gibbs: I was born here.

Ziva: Okay, so how many amendments to the Constitution?
Gibbs: The Bill of Rights is the first 10, prohibition is 18. I'm guessing 23.
Ziva: Twenty-seven!
Gibbs: Nobody likes a smart ass, David.

Norvell: She'll miss.
Gibbs: What's the probability of that?
Angela Kelp: Based on the temperature and humidity, no wind, half moon, good light, 97.6%.
Gibbs: Last chance, Norvell.
Norvell: Move or I'll do it.
Gibbs: [to Ziva] Take it.

Gibbs: What've you got?
Abby: A better question is what have you not got Abbs, and the better answer would be a Caf-Pow! I'm trying to make my own here, but I'm missing like 400 ingredients.
Gibbs: Are you all right?

Abby: This guy was a genius! He chronicled all his exploits on his phone. It's like a master's course! Six hundred pizzas delivered to the battalion CP. He reassembled a Humvee inside the officer's club. If only I had the appropriate time and space to use the bounty of ideas in front of me.
Gibbs: The case, Abbs. The case.

Ziva: Being stuck at that desk has given me a lot of time to think. Being a visitor here is wrong.
Gibbs: What does that mean, Ziva?
Ziva: I need your signature on this. I want to be an NCIS agent.
Gibbs: I don't even know if that's possible. You would have to resign from Mossad.
Ziva: Already have. Sent my father an email.
Gibbs: Hmm. Now what's he think about that?
Ziva: It does not matter.

Tony: Come on, computers are your thing! If I had a thing I'd want to show it off.
Gibbs: There are rules against that, DiNozzo.

Ziva: These chocolates are delicious!
Gibbs: Hey, dad. Stop making my team fat.
Ziva: Gibbs, why didn't you tell us your father was coming?
Gibbs: I didn't think he'd actually show. Go ahead, have another one, bubble butt.
Tony: It's my metabolism slowing with age.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 212 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

Bishop: It's just....I did everything right. I mean, I was textbook. How can I fail?
McGee: Everybody fails. It's the Kobayashi Maru.

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