Leslie Knope Quotes
I would like some wine. And oops, my vest popped open. Just like the budget needs to pop open. And you need to pour it into my parks department.
Do you have any of those shirts that look wet all the time? Or like a metal bikini. Oh! You know what's always sexy? Fingerless gloves.
Leslie: Would you be cool doing things that a prostitute does?
Ann: Uh...
Leslie: Minus the money?
Ann: Definitely yes then.
Our budget's been slashed to zero. I tried to buy fertilizer the other day for the soccer field... request denied. We literally can't buy s**t.
Ben: Apparently in Indiana if you don't provide a basketball league, people get very upset. And quite frankly throw things at you and call you names. Like Turd boy? Whatever. Point is I reinstated youth basketball.
Leslie: This says here you only have money for two teams?
Ben: Yeah, they're going to develop a great rivalry.
Leslie: Parks services are still here, and we have a job to do.
Tom: Make the world's biggest pizza.
Leslie: No, make this town fun for the people who live here.
Tom: Fine. But after that, the pizza is our top priority.
Leslie: No it's not.
Ron: We're getting pizza?
Leslie: Tom, we're back.
Tom: Jeremy, suck it. By the way I've been giving away free sports bras to the girls at Hot Dog on a Stick.
The bankrupt government of Pawnee has been shut down all summer so it's been three months of no work, no meetings, no memos, no late nights, nothing. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Hello, Pawnee. I'm Rinatta Ricotta. Freddy Spaghetti couldn't make it today. He bumped his noodle. There was sauce everywhere. It was just streaming out of his face. It was really scary.
Can you go pick up Freddy Spaghetti in your Mercedes? We need to give him the star treatment.
Ann: Do you think anybody's going to show up?
Leslie: A) Yes. B) Even if they don't, we'll just put the concert on ourselves. But C) Yes, yes. They're definitely going to show up. Although D) Maybe not.
Pawnee's kids are less important than poop tubes.
