Leslie: Just so we're clear, you understand that me hanging back to practice with you is a pretext for letting you know that I'm sexually available.
Leonard: Really?
Leslie: Yeah. I'm good to go.
Leonard: I thought you weren't interested in me.
Leslie: That was before I saw you handling that beautiful piece of wood between your legs

I saw your pupils dilate when you looked at her, which, unless you're a heroin addict, points to sexual attraction

Leslie: Listen, neither of us are neuroscientists, but we both understand the biochemistry of sex. I mean, dopamine in our brains is released across synapses, causing pleasure. You stick electrodes in a rat's brain, give him an orgasm button, he'll push that thing until he starves to death.
Leonard: Well, who wouldn't?
Leslie: Well, the only difference between us and the rat is that you can't stick an electrode in our hypothalamus. That's where you come in

Leslie: I'm glad I ran into you. The Physics Department string quartet needs a new cellist.
Leonard: What happened to Elliot Wong?
Leslie: He switched over to high-energy radiation research and had a little mishap, and now the other guys are a little uncomfortable sitting next to him

Sheldon: Who told you you could touch my board?
Leslie: No one.
Sheldon: I don't come in to your house and touch your board.
Leslie: There are no incorrect equations on my board.
Sheldon: Oh! That is so, so...
Leslie: I'm sorry; I've got to run, if you come up with an adjective text me.
Sheldon: Inconsiderate, that is the adjective, inconsiderate!

Leonard: So, what happens now?
Leslie: Well, I don't know about your sex drive, but I'm probably good till New Year's.
Leonard: Oh. Okay. Thank you.
Leslie: Thank you.
Leonard: You want to make plans for New Year's?
Leslie: Whoa, Leonard, please. You're smothering me

Leslie: Wait, you're going up against Sheldon Cooper?
Leonard: Yeah.
Leslie: That arrogant, misogynistic East Texas doorknob that told me I should abandon my work with high-energy particles for laundry and childbearing?

Leslie: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Leslie Winkle!
Leslie: Yeah, Leslie Winkle! The answer to the question, "Who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl?"
Sheldon: Yes! Well, I'm polarized tree sap and you're inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction it's reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you

Dr. Gablehauser: Dr. Winkle, what colorful name did you call Dr. Cooper this time?
Leslie: Doctor Dumb-ass.

Leslie: Isn't it nice when your good fortune makes others miserable?
Wolowitz: You know, most people don't get that!

TBBT Quotes

Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Raj's poem

Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine... I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's... rum and Coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?