Michael: Lindsay, I can tell that it's real. It's like that feeling that you read about twins having.
Lindsay: We're twins. You didn't give me access to the banking.
Michael: No, you'd just ... you'd go out, and you'd just whore it up Lindsay, you know? Now, she's different. She's a little bit more like me. It's like we finish each other's --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: ... Sentences. Why would I say --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: (nods) That time, I was going to say sandwiches.

Lindsay: Well, why don't you just go to Dad and ask him who Nellie is, point-blank?
Michael: So, he can just cover it up and lie? I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias: Oh, there's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael: Ok, but that's the last one.

Lindsay: Oh, you know what? I've already prepared a list of "won'ts."
Tobias: Oh, you're not going to believe this. My list is of "can'ts."
Michael: Marital love can be so romantic.

Michael: That might be an older sister that we've never met.
Lindsay: Wow! Look at the beak on that bird.

Lindsay: Well, you know, maybe I would be more attracted to you if you were in better shape. You know, if you were just more muscular and masculine. Does that make me shallow?
Tobias: No. I was going to say the same thing to you.

All they're doing in there is trying to keep people alive. It's a life mill!

Lindsay: Yeah, check it out. I found that canned ham that we'd had forever, and I put it in a pot of boiling water, and guess what I'm calling it?
Michael: Soup?
Lindsay: Hot ham water.

Michael: My son expresses himself just fine. Isn't that right, son?
George Michael: What? Yeah ... fine. Uh, yes, I don't care. What's up?
Tobias: Yes, he's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.
Michael: I don't know that reference.
Lindsay: I don't either.
Tobias: I don't know either.
Narrator: It's this guy. (an image of men dressed like the Village People is shown, with the "biker" highlighted)

Lindsay: They teach self-expression and getting in touch with feelings, Michael. I mean, I know you don't have any.
Gob: The boy who couldn't cry.
Buster: He's a robot! (Buster's prosthetic hand falls off)
Lindsay: Michael can cry. He just doesn't want to rust.
Tobias: Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz.

Lindsay: Did you get a lawyer?
Tobias: Only the best-looking and best educated lawyer in the whole O.C.
Bob: Don't call it that.

Lindsay: Did it ever occur to you that maybe Warden Gentiles likes her?
Michael: Likes her what?
Lindsay: No, I mean, likes her. Like, is attracted to her.
Michael: Who's the "her" in that sentence?
Lindsay: Mom. Warden Gentiles likes Mom.
Michael: Her?

Michael: The whole thing is a scam. Mom was just using that warden to try to get Dad out. She's not trying to seduce him at all.
Lindsay: Oh, no, she is. She's spending the night with him. She just called to ask me to bring her a tube of vag ... table paste.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 162 in total

Arrested Development Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom
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