That was a phone. This looks like you're pointing at someplace to sell your gold.

Oh, I've made a pun.

Lucille Bluth

I got Olive Garden to offer us unlimited bread.

Lucille Bluth

I'll be out on parole by the time you work up a tear.

If I'd have told them we were taking a whole bunch of gays out there to get married they'd have thrown me a parade. Let's tell them we were taking a bunch of gays out there to get married!

Lucille: "We yelled at you to leave.
Buster: But then you whispered 'Don't pull out.'
Gob: GAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH.

George Sr: Where's Barry?
Lucille: He's with the harbormaster. He's trying to dazzle them with a suit of his own.
Barry: Well, he hated the suit. Thought I was making fun.

Lucille: Michael's right. And I, for one, will not go back to wondering whether there's going to be enough food on the table. (Table creaks and wobbles)
Michael: Might wanna start worrying about the table.

Lucille: (to the hot sailors) You boys know how to shovel coal?
Narrator: I don't even want to tell you what these guys thought that meant.

Michael: So, it's embezzlement, bribery and conspiracy.
Lucille: And a whole lot of love.
Michael: Oh, right: and perjury.

Buster: Oh, I'm not comfortable near the ocean since the seal attack. The ocean is my second biggest fear.
Lucille: Good, don't come. I need to be rubbing elbows, not working your fork.

Lucille: Michael. What a surprise.
Michael: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your two daughters?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit.

Arrested Development Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Michael: You haven't met my family. You should meet my family. We're going to be having an anniversary party.
Pastor Veal: What a wonderful surprise! We would love to witness a celebration of their love.
Michael: That would be a wonderful surprise.