What do we do? She's going to tell Michael. And he won't hear the good stuff, he'll just hear about the beating.

Tobias: Gob, this is Flunitrazepam. It's a roofie.
Lucille: Those are illegal!
Gob: Shut up, Mom. Don't make me give you another one of these.

It's probably because a seal bit off his hand. The army has taken to giving medals for being food.

Lucille: He's just jealous that I have a man back in my life. And guess what else is back?
Michael: My breakfast?
Lucille: My friskiness. Mama horny, Michael.
Michael: No, it's my breakfast.

Buster: Mother, have you seen my rubber hand?
Lucille: It's in the dishwasher. Your father and I were using it for something.
Buster: Oh for God's sake! Can't you keep my hand to yourself?

Michael: I'm amazed Dad hasn't strangled himself with his belt yet.
Lucille: Oh, we're into all kinds of freaky stuff.
Michael: Why do I eat breakfast before I come here?

(Driving to the cabin to escape Buster's snoring, Lucille discovers he's asleep in the back seat)
Lucille: Ooh, come on!
Buster: Mother?
Lucille: What the hell are you doing back there?
Buster: I decided to sleep in the car so my snoring wouldn't bother you. And I left that recording of my snoring so you wouldn't know I'm gone.
Lucille: We're halfway to the cabin, I'm gonna drop you by this light.

Michael: Maybe you can bring a date to the cabin.
Lucille: I don't want anybody to go inside that musty claptrap.
Michael: ... Oh, the cabin!

Michael: You seem more villainous than usual, Mom. Are you sober?
Lucille: Michael, it's 8 AM!
Michael: So, it's not that.

Lucille: Apparently, mood altering medication leads to street drugs. That's what this very handsome young doctor said on The Today Show.
Michael: That was Tom Cruise, the actor.
Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist.

Lucille: I just went off my post-partum depression medication.
Michael: You're still taking that? You had Buster thirty-two years ago.
Lucille: And that's how long I've been depressed about it.

Michael: Go ahead and tell Gob that I'll be telling the cops that it was him in the truck so he'll be joining me here. I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it.
Lucille: You'd do that to your own brother?
Michael: I said "cot".

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 177 in total

Arrested Development Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Okay, we are just about ass-to-ankles back here, Maeby. Do you want to hop on your cousin's lap there, please?

Tobias
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