Lucille: Michael. What a surprise.
Michael: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your two daughters?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit.

Brian: Hope you don't mind me saying, but these things can go on indefinitely. My mother's been in that bed for two years.
Lucille: (gasps) Oh, how awful. We don't have a private room.

Michael: Gob, pal, how about you? Can you find some work?
Gob: Oh, sure, Michael. As what, a waiter? Can I get you something, madam?
Lucille: I will have a vodka, though.
(Lucille and Gob laugh)
Gob: What? Oh.
Michael: You know, if you'd ever accidentally worked a day in your life, you'd know that there's no indignity in it.
Gob: Great. She'll have a vodka.

Lucille: Everything looks delicious.
Warden Gentles: Oh, One Eye is a wonderful chef. I've had to go to his parole hearings twice and lie through my teeth to keep him here.

I want to cry so badly, but I don't think I can spare the moisture.

Lucille: I'm trying to seduce him.
Michael: Who's the "I" in that sentence?
Lucille: Me.
Michael: You?
Narrator: Her.

Lucille: You can smuggle yourself out because I'm staying in the conjugal trailer with Warden Gentles.
George, Sr.: Him?

Lucille: Where's your hand?
Buster: I'm having my high school ring put on it. And my hook is stuck in the stair car.

Michael: I am getting married.
George Sr.: Who the hell to?
Michael: Who do you think? Rita.
Lucille: Her?

Lucille: I think he's being sarcastic, Gob.
Buster/Larry: No, I'm not, mother. I mean, lover. I like making love to mother ... I mean, lover.
Gob: Oh, my god, Buster. Is that you?
Buster/Larry: ... Yes.

Bob: Somebody tipped them off that the property wasn't ready for building
Lucille:Which it would have been if Michael wasn't so busy with his English muffin.
Gob: Typical.
Buster: Delicious.
Lucille: I need a drink.
Buster: I'll take an English muffin.

Lucille: What the hell did you do?
Buster: You curious, Mom? I can show you. (shows his fake hand)
Lucille: You made a mistake. You're human.. except for the hand.
Gob: It's okay, she's alive. And soft. Soft and alive. (caressing Rita's hand)
Lucille: All right, let's not add that to the charges.

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Soon, George Michael went to Ann's to try to win her back. But her Uncle Paul told him that Ann had moved in with her boyfriend. He also mentioned that we all only had 3 more weeks on earth and that fossils were just something the Jews buried in 1924.

Narrator