Popular Lucille Quotes
Lucille: Barry's very good.
Lindsay: He's an idiot.
Barry: I do have some big news. It's going to cost you a little money. $20,000. Something like that. The courts have agreed to let your father ... out of prison.
Lucille: This is a lawyer.
Buster: He's a master.
Barry: For the entire afternoon.
Lucille: Oh, what'd she do, get you drunk?
Michael: No, we just, uh, well ... We-we did drink a little bit. How'd you know that?
Lucille: Because that's what she said she'd do. I said you wouldn't give her the money, and she said, 'He will if I get him drunk'. Probably because she thinks you're a cheap bastard. Oh ... Her words.
Michael: Gob was there. Gob was on his scooter ... I think I wanted to hit Gob.
Lucille: Yes! That is exactly what happened. You wanted to give Gob a scare. I don't know why.
Lucille: You're a good son. You always do things for others. You're the only one holding this family together.
Michael: And you see a lot more than I give you credit for, Mom. You're not just concerned with yourself. You care about the family. Hey, is that Gob?
Michael: You know, Mom, I'm sorry you're upset, but, you know, if you were nicer then maybe your kids would take better care of you, you know? Or want to be with you more.
Lucille: I've been a horrible mother.
Michael: No, Mom, you're great. You've been a great mother.
Gob: Well, you know she's been a horrible mother, right?
Where on earth are we going? Left at the next corner.
Lucille: He's weak.
Michael: Speaking of weak, Mom, what do you got in there, gold bars?
Lucille: Protein bars for your father. He's pumping up in prison.
Lucille: My neighbor, Lucille Austero, is constantly throwing parties for herself. She's having another one in a week.
Buster: I'm not going to that.
Michael: Actually my head does not hurt at all. What did you give me?
Doctor: Your mother asked me to pump you full of ...
Lucille: Children's aspirin.
Lucille: You're my third least favorite child.
Michael: I can live with that.
Lucille: (showing Michael her fox scarf) Michael, look. Look what happened to my fox. Someone cut off its little foot. Is it, is it noticeable?
Michael: Well, you've got to remember you're going to be all splattered in red paint. That's gonna distract the eye.
