Popular Luke Danes Quotes
Lorelai: Hey, Backwards baseball hat...new look for you. (Looking over at Rory) She's eating pie? Did she eat dinner?
Luke: You raised her. I just serve.
Luke: You look like you need pie.
Rory: I do?
Luke: Violent pencil tossing usually signals the need for pie.
Rory: What if I'd thrown a pen?
Luke: I would've brought you a trout.
Rory: What?
Luke: I don't make the rules, I just carry them out.
Sookie: Is that meatloaf?
Luke: Yeah.
Sookie: You use ketchup?
Luke: You gonna make fun of my mother, too?
Luke: Sookie!
Sookie: Hey, I was looking for your paprika.
Luke: Hey, what have I said about the counter?
Sookie: I know.
Luke: How the counter is a sacred space, my sacred space. You don't do yoga on the Dalai Lama's mat. And you don't come behind my counter. Period!
Sookie: I was trying to help!
Luke: (to Lorelai) You bring her again, I want her on a leash! I mean it.
Luke: That's the wrong table.
Rory: Since when is there a right table?
Luke: Since the coffee cake I baked for you and the stupid balloons I blew up for you are at that table over there.
Luke: She's not here yet.
Lorelai: Alright. Well, you'll have to entertain me until she arrives. Okay, Burgerboy! Dance!
Luke: Will you marry me?
Lorelai: (stares agasp) What?
Luke: Just...looking for something to shut you up.
Rory: Mom's famous for her blowouts.
Lorelai: The best one was her eighth birthday.
Rory: Oh yeah, that was good.
Lorelai: The cops shut us down.
Luke: The cops shut down an eight year old's birthday party?
Rory: And arrested the clown.
(Lorelai runs into Luke in Doose's)
Lorelai: Aah! What are you doing here?
Luke: What are you doing here?
Lorelai: I asked first!
Luke: I ran out of cream.
Lorelai: Oh. Uh, me too!
(Lorelai is sitting at a table watching Rory and Lane out the window.)
Luke: Coffee? (no answer) Aw, come on. Are you mad at me too? I mean, a man can't choose whether or not he wants a picture of a fat, stupid bird on his wall? My God, that's the reason the damn Pilgrims came here in the first place.
Lorelai: Luke, I wasn't snubbing you. I didn't hear you and now I'm concerned about you.
Luke: Sorry, just feeling a little persecuted lately. Coffee?
Lorelai: Please.
Luke: You OK?
Lorelai: Yes, I'm fine.
Luke: You don't look fine.
Lorelai: Well thank you.
Luke: I just meant you look concerned.
Lorelai: I'm preoccupied.
Luke: You look concerned.
Lorelai: Well I'm not.
Luke: Fine, you just look it.
Lorelai: Hey, you know some streamers would look so great in here.
Luke: OK, I'm done.
Lorelai: Thank you.
(Later...Luke comes back to the table)
Luke: I'm not gonna say you look concerned.
Lorelai: I'm not gonna talk about how good you'd look dressed like one of the guys from The Crucible.
Luke: Fair enough.
Luke: You're not going to kill the bag boy.
Lorelai: Why not?
Luke: It's double coupon day. You'll bring down the town.
(Lorelai and Rory serve themselves after trying various gambits to get Luke's attention, including Rory's announcing -- to no response -- that Lorelai is not wearing underwear.)
Luke: No tip?
Lorelai: Oh yeah, here's a tip -- serve your customers!
Luke: Here's another -- don't sit on any cold benches!
Lorelai: (speaking to Luke) Wow, you look nice. Really nice.
Luke: I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too.
Lorelai: I had a flagellation to go to.
Luke: So, what'll you have?
Lorelai: Coffee, in a vat.
Rory: I'll have coffee also. And chili fries.
Luke: That's quite a refined palate you got there.
(Luke walks to the counter)
Lorelai: (to Rory) Behold the healing powers of a bath.
