Maeby Bluth Fünke Quotes
Tobias: Oh, a pregnancy test. There's something we never had, huh, Lindsay? No, we had to create our little Frankenstein monster out of science, and money, and just a dash of... (Notices Maeby has entered) Maeby... would... how... how long have you been standing there?
Maeby: I just walked in.
Tobias: Just walked in! (chuckles) Seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb!
Maeby: My mom signed me out of school early, so then she wouldn't have to pick me up later, so then she wouldn't be late for the Christmas party.
Michael: That's about the worst thing I've ever heard.
Maeby: I had to drive because she had a little bit of a buzz on.
Michael: No, that's it.
Maeby: What? So, I'm not invited to the Bluth Company Christmas party?
Lindsay: Oh, honey, of course you can go if you want to.
Maeby: Thanks, Mom.
Lindsay: No, you're not going to that. You see, if I show up with you, it'll just make me seem like I'm a mother.
Maeby: I've never thought of you that way.
Maeby: That's got to bother you, huh Dad? I mean, she's flirting right in front of you.
Tobias: Hmm? Oh, no. I am surprised though that she's going after somebody so similar to my own type. But I suppose we all do expose our inner desires, don't we?
Maeby: I think you just did.
Tobias: No I didn't.
Tobias: I must warn you, Michael, she doesn't respond well to strict directives.
Maeby: All right.
Tobias: That was odd.
Michael: Not really. Kids love boundaries. I mean, look at these girls. (Talking about the "Girls with Low Self-Esteem" tape) Is this what you want?
Tobias: Oh, God, no.
Michael: This could be where your daughter is headed.
Tobias: Oh, no, no, I don't want this for Maeby either.
Patient: There's like this longing ... this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like, some kind of ... ?
Young Maeby: Homosexual.
Tobias: Maeby, please. She's right, though. You probably are a homosexual.
Lindsay: I'm protesting the war. There's a war going on, you know.
Maeby: Yeah. I'm the one who told you, and you said it happened ten years ago.
Maeby: It all adds up. He stole somebody's hair, made a wig, knocked out the guard, tunneled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candy apple on his way to Mexico!
George Michael: Of course! You're mocking me.
Maeby: Of course.
Lindsay: Ok, I tell you what. I'll take you down to see Nana if you split the money with me 60-40.
Maeby: 55-55.
Lindsay: Deal.
Michael: Sounds like you guys are getting more than you think.
Maeby: The only real way to find out how it's done is to sneak on the boat while he does it.
George Michael: Yeah, but then if he makes it disappear, won't everyone just see me standing there?
Maeby: Let's just sit quietly and consider how ridiculous that statement was ... Anyway, if it was me, that's what I would do.
Maeby: Plus, who's going to get mad at the dying girl?
George Michael: Surely's dying?
Maeby: I figure I'll kill her off just before graduation just so everyone gets really sad before prom.
Maeby: Enjoy the $200.
George Michael: This is six $20s.
Maeby: That's right.
