The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Lisa: Mom, where's dad?
Marge: I don't know.
Bart: Aw it's Christmas Eve man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!

Homer: A-camping we will go
Marge: But where I still don't know
Homer: A place that's filled with sun and sand, a desert steamed from Disneyland, keep expectations low.

You always do the right thing...sort of.

It's like they don't care if you make money, as long as they make money. What kind of corporation does that?

Homie, the fantasy draft just ended. I got you five kickers. It is called football, right?

Homer: Marge, did you replace our regular mirror with a magical mirror from a mystical salesman at a weird store that if we went back to find it it wouldn't be there anymore?
Marge: No
Homer: AAAAHHH!!

Homer: Marge, who would give up eating steak in the matrix to go slurp goo in Zion?
Marge: We don't have that movie here.

Marge:You can live with your no good son.
Bart: Hey, what did I do?
Marge: Nothing for thirty years. You're perfect for each other.

Homer: I am as healthy as a horse.
Marge: Horses only live thirty years.

Bart's usually first in line for taco night, but now he's muy tarde. Is it alright to say tarde?

Homer: Pressure is how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge.
Marge: I don't have any diamonds.
Homer: Quit pressuring me!

Marge: Don't you think the parts that aren't evil, are a little...pretentious.
Bart: Absolutely...we're talking about Lisa, right?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 565 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!