I'm so sorry. Sometimes when Desi and I are woodshedding, we go on a cell phone diet.

Shoshanna: I just don't understand why nobody tells you how bad its gonna be in the real world.
Marnie: Yeah they do. It's pretty much all they tell you.

Marnie: I am not the mistress.
Ray: You are 1000 percent the mistress.
Marnie: Not if I end up with him.

Nobody's moving to Iowa, ever. But I'm so happy for you.

It came from like a deep place of insecurity. I'm not proud, at all.

If you're here to tell me what a bad person I am, I don't wanna hear it. Seriously I know. And no I have not told Shoshanna yet but I will and I fucking know I have to do it. And I know that I need to have more respect for the emotional property of other women and I know that I use sex for validation because it's what I do.

You're saying I'm sweet, I'm saying you're sweet, it's sweet.

Adam's friend: Wow you've got a lot of darkness in you.
Marnie: A lot of that is stuff I wrote on Ambien.

By the way your Netflix came. Bridget Jones 2, seriously?

I wouldn't be eating pizza in front of you if I liked you.

Guys we're so disconnected. I thought this would just be a nice opportunity for us to have fun together and prove to everyone via Instagram that we could still have fun as a group.

Jessa, I put you in the lighthouse because it's bohemian.

Girls Quotes

I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, thinks I'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me.

Hannah

Ok I think I got everything, testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.

Hannah