Lily: Wow, you're cooking?
Marshall: Yes, I am.
Lily: Awww. Are you sure that's a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows

Ted: She didn't even give me the signal!
Barney: What, is she gonna bat her eyes at you in morse code? [bats eyes] Ted... kiss me. No! You just kiss her!
Ted: Not if you don't get the signal!
[Barney spontaneously kisses Marshall]
Barney: Did Marshall give me the signal?
Marshall: No! [to Lily] I didn't, I swear!

Ted: I've been there for all the big moments of you and Lily: the night you met, your first date, other first things...
Marshall: Huh-uh-uh, yeah, sorry, we thought you were asleep.
Ted: It's physics Marshall, if the bottom bunk moves the top bunk moves too

HIMYM Quotes

Think of me like Yoda but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro - I'm Broda!

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney