How I Met Your Mother

Marshall Eriksen Quotes

Lily: When you said you were about to get reamed?
Marshall: Oh right that. No, sometimes for fun, we throw reams of paper at each other. Bernard! Not a good time! Read the room!
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: Marshall it doesn't matter. Cause you'd lose anyway and you know why? Cause I'm Sparkles bitch!
Marshall: Oh and you think you can to me? You think you could step up to the streets? To me? You think you could step up, over me, to the streets?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: You're killing me Lily! You're killing me! You have to let me dance my own battles!
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: He's looking for Lily. Should I give him her number?
Marshall: Yeah we've already discussed it. It's four million dollars cash.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Ted: That's weird, I have a message.
Marshall: That's weird, you still have an answering machine.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: I am so happy right now.
Marshall: I want to see her throw her life away so badly.
Ted: We're all terrible people. Turn it up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Okay but hurry, or I'm gonna start doing number eleven on my own.
Marshall: You can do that by yourself?
Lily: Pilates bitch!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: I need to grow up. Oh by the way I'm breaking a jinx swear here so don't tell Barney or he gets to whack me in the nuts three times with a whiffle ball bat.
Marshall: Sure, pretty standard.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Barney, or should I say Borrowney?
Marshall: You should never say that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Judge 1: Thank you Mr. Eriksen. The panel will take this under advisement.
Marshall: Take your time.
Judge 2: It could be a few months.
Marshall: Better tell my wife then I won't be home for dinner.
Judge 2: Get out!
 • Rating: Unrated

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