Marshall Eriksen
Quotes

Robin: Look at me, I've sworn off relationships.
Marshall: She is so about to get married.
Ted: I gotta work on my toast.
Marshall: I gotta make sure my tux fits!
Robin: I will bang your heads together like coconuts.
 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Claire: So ... why is he wearing the scuba gear?
Marshall: We don't know, Claire. And it's killing us! It's killing us!
 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Marshall: You know how many times I've gone looking for frozen waffles in the freezer but there are none?
Robin: Thousands?
Marshall: Millions.
 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Marshall: Another book! We got ... Stephen King over here!
 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Ted: She was cute.
Lily: She still is! And now you're ready.
Marshall: Yeah, man, now you can fit like three times that many chicken fingers in your mouth!
 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Marshall: MILSWANCA's?
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square
 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Lily: That's it. I'm coming out of retirement for one. Last. Breakup.
Ted and Marshall: YES!
 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Marshall: What'd you get?
Lily: I got squat.
Marshall: What? I thought I saw you take one.
Lily: I did. It's called Squat.
 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Ted: They're killing each other!
Lily: They love each other.
Ted: Barney and Robin love each other, but they're not Barney and Robin anymore. They're the fat guy and the old lady.
Marshall: My favorite '70s detective show!
 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Barney: The US Navy discovered aliens at the bottom of the ocean and for reasons I can't explain, they selected Robin and I to lead the expedition
Lily: That sounds like stuff you say to women when you're trying to get rid of them
Marshall: That's exactly what is sounds like, but if it's true that sounds totally awesome

 • Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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