Lily: Wow. A genuine Scherbatsky sighting out in nature. At this point, that's like seeing Sasquatch.
Marshall: No, Sasquatch is a warm and affectionate creature. At this point Robin's more like the yeti. Cold and aloof.

Marshall: Why does he keep doing this? He meets them. He likes them way too much. He goes way too big too soon. He ends up blowing it. I can't take this any more. He's fallen in love so many times now.
Lily: Not like this. This is different.

Marshall: A certain delicate flower cried all night in the shower.
Lily: And I was pretty bummed too.

Marshall: We're adorable
Lily: We're Marshmallow and Lilypadad bitch!

Ted: Singles tables are cruel. I mean what if you went to a wedding and there was a table of all fat guys?
Marshall: That would be awesome.

Lily: We're not going to Italy.
Marshall: Of course we are. Lily we have to do this. You're gonna live in Rome and you're gonna get your dream because you're giving me mine, again.

Marshall: Well it's official. I'm going to be Judge Marshall Eriksen.
Ranjit: That is great. Can you help me get a driver's license?
Barney: A what?

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No no no! Ted do not give me that look.
Ted; A mountain of food, a ticking clock? Come on you live for this stuff.

Screw tomorrow, lets go big tonight.

Look at this thing! I'll never have cold pizza again! I'll never have cold pizza again...

Hey I have given up peeing in the shower for you!

Lily: Face it Robin, you hate women and women hate you.
Marshall: Ted didn't go to his prom? Classic.

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted