There were many ways to tell Bree Van De Kamp was a lady. She was courteous to those around her, she moved with elegance and grace. And she was very careful to never let others know what she was thinking. You see, like most well-bred women, Bree had something to hide.

Gabrielle: You! What the hell did you do with my husband?
Sister Mary: Please restrain yourself, Gabrielle, you are in the House of God.
Gabrielle: Tell me where he is!
Sister Mary: Everywhere, of course.

(narrating) The stories are as old as time itself. The prodigal son who returns home to hte father who forgives him. (shot of Zach playing guitar while Paul watches him.) The jealous wife who tricks the husband who trusts her. (Shot of Gabrielle stroking the head of a sick Carlos.) The desperate mother who risks everything for the child who needs her. (Shot of Betty placing a blanket over a sleeping Caleb.) And the faithless husband who hurts the wife he loves so deeply. (Shot of Addison leaving his house as his wife glares.) Why do we listen again and again? (Shot of Bree gardening) Because these are the stories of family (Andrew is reading on the porch. He smiles at Bree, and she smiles back.) And once we look past the fighting, pain, and the resentment, we occasionally like to remind ourselves, there is absolutely nothing more important. (Shot of Lynette entering her office daycare, where she spends a moment with Penny)

Kisses are such simple things, we hardly notice them. But if we paid more attention, we'd see that each kiss conveys a meaning all its own. For example, some can say, 'I'm so happy to see you.' Or, 'I didn't realize you'd be here.' Or 'honey, it's time to stop drinking.' The trick is in knowing how to tell the difference.

(narrating) The act itself never varies, but each kiss conveys a meaning all it's own. It can mean a husband's eternal devotion (shot of Tom and Lynette passionantely kissing in bed)Or a wife's enormous regret (shot of Gabrielle giving Carlos a quick kiss) It can symbolize a mother's growing concern (Shot of Betty kissing Caleb lightly) Or a lover's growing passion (shot of Andrew and Justin passionantely making out) But whatever it's meaning, (shot of Edie and Karl kissing) each kiss reflects a basic human need (shot of Alberta Frome kissing her cat) The need to connect to another human being (shot of Bree kissing her fingers, and placing those fingers on a photo of Rex.) This desire is so strong, it's always amazing when some people don't understand it. (Shot of Paul watching Julie and Zach kiss.)

(narrating) Illnesses can take on many forms. Those of the body are easy to treat. (shot of Lynette treating one of her chicken-pox infested sons) Much more difficult are the hidden maladies that fester in our hearts. (Camera pans to Tom, who is away from his kids.) The secret addictions that consume our souls. (Shot of Ralph looking at Internet pornography) And the diseases we deny that affect our judgment. (Shot of Bree drinking a glass of wine on her porch) To survive, we need to find that special someone who can heal us. (Shot of Susan meeting Dr. Ron, giving him a muffin basket) But we can never predict who will ahve the cure for what ails us (Shot of Noah talking in bed as a nurse attends to him.) Or when they'll show up. (The nurse turns out to be Felicia Tillman.)

Everyone understands the nature of war. We also understand that victory depends on the cards that we have been dealt. Some, when faced with a bloody battle, simply give in. But for some, surrender is unacceptable. Even though they know it will be a fight to the death.

If there is one thing Edie Brit understood, it was the nature of war. After two failed marriages and countless rocky romances she had learned that love was a battlefield, and the easiest way to survive the carnage was total surrender. But the day comes for every soldier when she must take a stand. And fight. You see, when it came to men, Edie had a battle plan all her own. Yes, Edie Britt understood the nature of war. She also knew to the victor go the spoils.

Sister Mary: Thank you for meeting with me.
Carlos: Sure! I'd have invited you in the house but the place is a real pigsty.
Sister Mary: Carlos, I'm a nun, not a moron.

The world is filled with unlikely friendships. Odd pairings that to the casual observer make absolutely no sense at all. But if you look closer, we can see why these alliances form. After all, a shared purpose can give even mortal enemies common ground.

The world is filled with unlikely friendships. (Shot of Bree comforting Betty as she explains about Caleb.) How do they begin? With one person desperately in need. (Shot of Gabrielle trying on a dress) And another willing to lend a helping hand. (Shot of Xiao-Mhe pinning the dress, smiling back at Gabrielle) When such kindness is offered, we are finally able to see the worth of those we have previously written off. (Shot of Susan getting her mail, and then waving to Karl, who is riding on a bike with Edie) And before we know it, a bond has formed. (Shot of Ed and Tom slapping hands and laughing) Regardless of whether others can understand it. (Shot of Lynette watching them. She shakes her head.) Yes, unlikely friendships start up everyday. (Shot of Danielle and Matthew kissing) No one understands this more then the lonely. (Caleb is watching Danielle from his window) In fact, it's what they count on.

It had been one year since my suicide and a lot had changed on Wisteria Lane. There were new flowers, new houses and new neighbors, the kind anyone would want living right next door.

Desperate Housewives Quotes

Dr. Barr: Hey there. I was surprised to hear you wanted a session.
Bree: Well, there's nothing like being tied to a bed to change a girl's mind.
Dr. Barr: What do you wanna talk about?
Bree: Anything at all. As you said, I...I have a lot of issues.
Dr. Barr: Well, I assumed as much when you told the ridiculous story about your daughter running off with a murderer.
Bree: Saw right through that, did ya?
Dr. Barr: Well, I'm a trained professional, Bree. The human mind is my playground.
Bree: Well, I'm glad that you're having fun.

(to dead body) "Tu me manques, Monique" ("I Miss You Monique").

Orson