Mercedes: You get to wear a fabulous hat.
Kurt: You had me at fabulous hat.

Mercedes: Is that a men's sweater?
Kurt: Fashion has no gender.

Mercedes: You think Puck and Santana will acknowledge my existence if we're not in glee club together.
Puck: She has a point.

Puck: Girl, you got more curves than a Nissan ad.
Mercedes: Seriously? That's what you came up with?

Puck: I'm a sex shark. If I stop moving, I die.
Mercedes: Me and you would not work out. You're top 40. I'm rhythm and blues.

Why does everyone assume I'm angry all the time? It's called being sassy.

Kurt: You shouldn't be embarrassed about your boy.
Mercedes: Embarrassed ? I'm worried about showing too much skin and causing a sex riot.

Mercedes: That would make you, like, 30.
Sue: 29.

As soon as I get my record deal, I'm not speaking to any of you.

I can't be co-captain. No time. Kwanza!

Why do we need to go all vanilla on this song? What we need is my chocolate thunder.

The slushee wars have commenced. None of us are safe.

Glee Quotes

[to Blaine] Relationships are about trust. And I don't trust you anymore.

Kurt

Mercedes: Sam just Tweeted that I smelled good.
Sam: I won't stop until it's Trending.