Mercedes: You get to wear a fabulous hat.
Kurt: You had me at fabulous hat.

Mercedes: Is that a men's sweater?
Kurt: Fashion has no gender.

Mercedes: You think Puck and Santana will acknowledge my existence if we're not in glee club together.
Puck: She has a point.

Puck: Girl, you got more curves than a Nissan ad.
Mercedes: Seriously? That's what you came up with?

Puck: I'm a sex shark. If I stop moving, I die.
Mercedes: Me and you would not work out. You're top 40. I'm rhythm and blues.

Why does everyone assume I'm angry all the time? It's called being sassy.

Kurt: You shouldn't be embarrassed about your boy.
Mercedes: Embarrassed ? I'm worried about showing too much skin and causing a sex riot.

Mercedes: That would make you, like, 30.
Sue: 29.

As soon as I get my record deal, I'm not speaking to any of you.

I can't be co-captain. No time. Kwanza!

Why do we need to go all vanilla on this song? What we need is my chocolate thunder.

The slushee wars have commenced. None of us are safe.

Glee Quotes

Sue: I don't care for your attitude.
Santana: Well I don't give a hot wet monkey's ass what you care for.

I'm gonna miss all of you. I love you guys.

Puck