[to Maeby] "You should see his Facebook page. Doesn't have a friend on it."

Nice try, Gob. If I wanted to see bad acting, I'd see Tobias in "A Jew Came to Dinner."

Michael: Didn't you already try locking Tony Wonder in his trick?

Gob: Yeah, but that wasn't for revenge, that was just on spec.

Gob: I met someone. I can't really give you any information, kinda famous-y.

Michael: Well, I also met someone, also famous-y, can't give you any information. 

Gob: Is it Julie Bowen?
Michael: No, it's not. Is yours Julie Bowen?

Gob: Is yours Julie Bowen? Oh my god, Michael, you're seeing Julie Bowen?

Michael: I am not seeing Julie Bowen, but if you are, you tell me right now.

Gob: I want to hear you say the words, "I'm not seeing Julie Bowen."

Michael: I have not seen Julie Bowen.

Gob: Well, that's a funny way to phrase it.

No but it's hard to imagine any Muslim handcuffing himself to a glittery cross and living to tell about it.

Michael: Oh my God. I'm dating Ron Howard's girlfriend.
Narrator: Actually, she's his daughter. But that's kind of worse, don't you think?

Ron Howard: You're the father.
Michael: But that would make my son the son.

Michael: Oh, gosh, no no no. My wife died years before any...any of this.
Ron Howard: Oh gee. I think it's a lot more fun if we see her die.

Google Guy: Now, with this car you might get some stares.
Michael: I'm used to a car with some stares.

Stop with the prayer hands. It just looks like you're out of ideas. Seriously, shoot me if you ever catch me doing that.

[to Lindsay] "I'm just not that into older women."

George Michael: What do we always say is the most important thing?
Michael: Family? I tried that. It does not work for me.

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Soon, George Michael went to Ann's to try to win her back. But her Uncle Paul told him that Ann had moved in with her boyfriend. He also mentioned that we all only had 3 more weeks on earth and that fossils were just something the Jews buried in 1924.

Narrator