Welcome to karma-geddon bitch.

We didn't become a billion strong by hanging out in the library.

Jenna: Is there something you want to tell me? Because I'm pretty sure Viera is of the Ellen variety.
Ming: Going with a girlfriend was the only way my parents would let me go so if I have to let her feel me up at the end of the night I'm down for the cause.

Tamara: You would know if it was me. I can't keep a secret for shit.
Ming: True.

Becca: What I don't know is, are you a cool Asian or a school Asian? What are your PSAT scores?
Ming: 120.
Becca: Low. You're not a school Asian. Have you ever spring break-ed in Cabo, downed Adderall, or had an affair with the lead singer of an indie rock band?
Ming: No.
Becca: Not a cool Asian either.
Ming: So what am I?
Becca: White.

Ming: Asians aren't magic, they don't have control over everything.
Jenna: Yes they do. Why do you think our school flag has a dragon on it?

The Asians? I'm not eating lunch with those people.

It's a good day to be Asian.

Tamara: Am I cockblocking?
Ming: Yes!

Fred: Are you familiar with the difference between a White bitch and an Asian bitch? When a White bitch is after you she's in your face: loud, angry, making sure she knows that you're responsible for your destruction. The Asian bitch...
Ming: derives from the way of the Ninja. They're everywhere and nowhere, all stealth, you never see an Asian bitch coming.

Ming: You know my locker combo?
Becca: I also know your bra size, but I'm not gonna advertise it.

Tamara: Holy sh*t!
Ming: Holy sh*t!
Jenna: You are supposed to be calming me down!
Tamara: I am sorry J, but holy sh*t!

Awkward Quotes

Jenna: This year would be my year. For once I wouldn't be overlooked not with Matty at my... backdoor!
Matty: Oh sorry, I slipped.

For 15 years I fantasized about everyone noticing me as I walked down the hall. What would I be wearing? Would every guy worship me? Would I be five inches taller and have porn tits? No, that was not my reality. My moment in the spotlight sucked some serious ass.

Jenna