Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Mitchell Pritchett Quotes
Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.
My gaydar is never wrong and it is pinging like we're at a bathhouse.
Leave it to the gays to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.
You're like a mob wife. You complain about what I do, but have no problem wearing the fur that fell off the back of the truck.
Mitchell: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school plays, and making out with the quarterback...
Claire: Oh come on, you made out with him, too.
Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.
Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.
Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.
Mitchell: Ahhh we have been together for, guh, five-- five years now? And uh we-- we just decided that we really wanted to have a baby. So we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate but--
Cameron: Then we figured, they're already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant?
Mitchell: Don't think so.
Cameron: No thank you, ick!
Cameron: Mitchell is a snob.
Mitchell: No, n-no, I'm discerning.
Cameron: Official slogan for snobs. When we first met he wouldn't even look at me because I was a hick from the farm in Missouri and he's a big city mouse.
Mitchell: Who says city mouse?
Cameron: Country mice
Mitchell: I don't like football.
Cameron: You know what? I thought part of being in a relationship was pretending to enjoy your partner's interests. Do you think I really loved home pickle making?
Mitchell: Yeah, 'cause you did.
Cameron: For a week, until we became the weird guys who gave everybody pickles. "Oh thank you, Marvin, for inviting us into your lovely home. Here, would you care for sacks pickles?"
Mitchell: It was charming.
Cameron: We were picklers, Mitchell. Okay, you know what, fine. Stay home with your little, jagged scissors. Maybe catch up on your scrap-booking.
Mitchell: Uh, come-you love scrap-booking.
Cameron: Did I Mitchell? Did I? [Leaves room]
Mitchell: No, stop. Don't do the double question to prove a point thing. I hate it when people do that.
Cameron [holds Lily outside the door]: Do you Mitchell? Do you?
Mitchell: Stop Lily
We were called "Fire and Nice." I was "Fire" because of the red hair and Claire was "Nice" because it was ironic and she wasn't.
Cameron [about him and Gloria]: On paper we should be good friends, one spicy curvy diva.
Mitchell: And Gloria.
