Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Oh my God, stop. We're gancient!

Cam: Umm well I can raise the roof and do the cabbage patch.
Mitchell: And I can do the single lady hand thing.
Cam: Yeah but put your neck into it or you just look like the Queen waving.

Mitchell: There is a lot of pressure when one is a gay uncle.
Cam: Or guncle.

Mitchell: She's gonna wake up.
Cam: Oh please, she's got enough pills in her, she's gonna rattle like a maraca.

Cam: Let's get this woman into bed and in the morning out of the house as fast as we can. Honestly, I don't know how straight guys do it.
Mitchell: Probably without those hand gestures.

We're showing Lily that we trust her enough to have one nice thing.

Cam: I just can't believe I slipped into one of Gloria's dresses.
MItchell: Relax it's a maternity poncho.

Cam: Trust me, I have another plan.
Mitchell: Really? Because right now our daughter is walking around like a Vietnamese Annie Hall.

News Reporter: How does your spouse feel about you coaching?
Cam: Oh this one, he's my rock, he's my Connie Britton.
Mitchell: Your Connie Britton?
Cam: Mrs. Coach on Friday Night Lights.

Unless you can convince Tom Brady to spend the night, I am not making breakfast for any football players…He is a football player right?

Cam: It's a bird! It's a plane!
Mitchell: It's super out of breath.
Cam: Happy Halloween to you too.

Well that's attractive. You look like a puppy with a slipper.

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