Favorite Monica Geller Quotes
Chandler: No, no, no, no, no, no. (Opens the door for Monica) No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day.
Monica: Okay, if you say stop, then we stop.
Chandler: Okay, stop.
Judy: (About Rachel) Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar.
Monica: What's that supposed to mean?
Judy: Nothing. It's an expression.
Monica: No, it's not.
Jack: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent and you always have been. Even when you were a kid, and you were chubby and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you'd read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
(Pause)
There are people, like Ross, who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are. I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. They're happy with what they have, they're basically content, like... cows.
Rachel: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Joey: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
Monica: You were so amazing as the king. I was really impressed, I was.
Phoebe: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, because when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your... royal subject.
Monica: (About Ross's gift) I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Chandler: (Panicked) Ahem... um... Crystal duck.
Rachel: No, no, no... the, um, the... "love" part?
Chandler: (Stuttering incoherently) F-hah... flennin...
Rachel: Oh... my God.
Chandler: (Rubbing his temples) Oh, no-no-no-no-no...
Joey: That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.
Chandler: (About Eddie) So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes.
Monica: Why?
Chandler: Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend, and killed his fish.
Phoebe: Why would you kill his fish?
Chandler: Because sometimes, Phoebe, after you sleep with someone... you have to kill a fish.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh fun. Okay. Liam Neeson.
Joey: No.
Phoebe: Morley Safer.
Joey: No.
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.
Rachel: You know what?
Monica: What?
Rachel: You know what?
Monica: What?!
Rachel: You know what?
Monica: What?!!
Rachel: Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother.
Monica: (Seeing a woman with newborn twins) No fair! I don't even have one! How come they get two?
Chandler: You'll get one.
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Monica: Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Chandler: Uh, uh.
Monica: Well?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack!
(Chandler throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in, pretending he can't open his parachute.)
Monica: I said that you had a nice butt. It's just not a great butt.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Ross: There's an image.
Monica: I can't believe you. You still haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job yet?
Chandler: Well, you still haven't taken down the Christmas lights.
Monica: Congratulations, I think you've found the world's thinnest argument.
Chandler: I'm just trying to find the right moment, you know?
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldn't be so hard, now that you're dating.
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: That was not an incident! I was gesturing, and the plate slipped out of my hand.
Ross: That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
Monica: No. No, I don't.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Ross: My friend, Bethel, rescued him from some lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
