Monica Geller Quotes
Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (Pause) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Phoebe: (About Coma Guy's name) What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
Monica: Nah, not special enough.
Phoebe: Ooh! How about Agamemnon?
Monica: Way too special.
Phoebe: (To Coma Guy) Get up, you Girl Scout! Up, up, up!
Monica: What are you doing?
Phoebe: Maybe nobody's tried this.
Monica: What are you guys doing here?
Joey: Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!
Monica: (Pause) What did I ask?
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not "reaching for her heaving beasts."
Monica: What's a "niffle"?
Joey: You usually find them on the "heaving beasts."
Rachel: Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his "huge throbbing pens"? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Rachel: Alright, that's it. Give them back.
Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no. I just got to the part about her "public hair."
Phoebe: Do you think they have yesterday's daily news?
Monica: Why?
Phoebe: Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.
Phoebe: Going to the hospital tonight?
Monica: No, you?
Phoebe: No, you?
Monica: You just asked me.
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question.
Chandler: (About Monica's date) Fun Bobby? Your ex-boyfriend Fun Bobby?
Monica: Yeah.
Joey: You know more than one Fun Bobby?
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Ross: That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
Monica: No. No, I don't.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Ross: My friend, Bethel, rescued him from some lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
Ross: It's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so...
Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate?
Ross: Nah, I dunno ... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathet- (Realizes) ... sorry, that's, that's "pathet", which is Sanskrit for "really cool way to live".
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her annoying Janice laugh)
Chandler: You remember Janice.
Monica: Vividly.
Ross: Par-tay! (Ross enters Monica's party with Marcel on his shoulders)
Monica: That thing is not coming in here.
Ross: That thing? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Monica: I'm guessing your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.
Ross: Hey, he was more embarrassed by that than anybody. And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
