Favorite Ned Quotes
Ned: What if you didn't have to be dead?
Chuck: That would be preferable.
Chuck: were you watching me sleep?
Ned: No... yes... well, I was waiting for you to wake up and in the process of waiting I was, yes, watching you sleep.
Chuck: I don't know anything about you since you were nine.
Ned: Well, it's pretty much I bake pies and wake the dead. I live a very sheltered life.
Emerson: (panicking) Can't this car go any faster?!
Chuck: Some car of the future this is!
Ned: I thought cars of the future were supposed to fly! What the hell happened to flying cars
Chuck: You didn't sleep well.
Ned: It was deep and perfect, like a nap in the backseat of a car after a day at the beach.
Ned: Why are you still talking?
Emerson: I'm rippin' off the Bandaid!
Ned: I'm not a ripper, I pull up a corner a little at a time and then run it under warm water and I pull it up a little more. It's a process.
Chuck: We're like everyone else in the world.
Ned: Except I still can't catch you.
Emerson: We're taking two cars next time.
Ned: "Maurice" and "Rolston"?
Chuck: You didn't even know their names?
Ned: I'm glad Dad got so fun and creative with naming after I left. "Goodbye, Ned. Hello, Mercutio and Ribald."
Chuck: Maurice and Rolston!
Emerson: Lawrence Schatz wasn't murdered. He was accidentally, involuntarily manslaughtered.
Ned: I appreciate that.
Ned: You're the only one for me.
Chuck: I know you feel that now, but there are things you want, there's things we both want.
Ned: So? Everyone wants stuff. We wake up everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn't mean we need them to be happy.
Chuck: What do you need to be happy?
Ned: You.
I just thought my world would be a better place if you were in it.
I wish I could give you an emotional heimlich so you could cough up that fear and anxiety, but I can't.
