Favorite Olive Snook Quotes
Olive: Can I ask you a question? If you loved me....
Alfredo: Yes?
Olive: And we could never, ever, ever touch. Wouldn't you eventually get over it and move on letting someone else have the slightest hope that you might move on to them?
Alfredo: If I loved you?
Olive: Yeah.
Alfredo: Then I would love you in any way I could. And if we could not touch, then I would draw strength from your beauty. And if I went blind, then I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind.
Olive: Eh, forget it.
Emerson: Sounds like you're a narcoleptic.
Ned: I suffer from uncontrollable types of deep sleep?
Emerson: What's the other one?
Ned: "Acrophiliac".
Emerson: Words that sound alike get mixed up in my head.
Olive: Me, too. I used to think "masturbation" meant chewing your food. (awkward silence) I don't think that anymore
Wouldn't it just rock and roll if liking someone meant they had to like you back? Of course that'd be a different universe and something else would probably suck.
Emerson: You can't die of evilness.
Chuck: Happens all the time you do something mean or hurtful to someone like tell a secret... Bang! You're dead.
Olive: Or Bang! You're not really dead you're just pretending to be dead while other people who think you're dead are heartbroken.
Emerson: Or Bang! You talk too much and you both go wait in the car
It’s from the Pie Hole from across the street, as in “Shut your.” But one sweet whiff and people usually want to “Open their.”
(about Chuck) I could smell trouble on her like she stepped in it and it stuck to her heel.
What was that rhyme? I scream, you scream, we all scream because you faked your death!
Emerson: Rhubarb.
Olive: What's that mean?
Emerson: PI secret code for 'get me a damn slice of rhubarb.'
Olive: This isn't Pies r Us, Pie City ... this is a bells on the door, pies-baking, mom and pop place. We chit chat here. Chit!
Emerson: Chat!
That's the most tragic story I've ever heard. Notwithstanding the big ticket items like genocide and famine, but tragic nonetheless.
Olive: Look carefully, ladies; this is your future.
Lily: Is it vodka?
Olive: Water.
Lily: As in Russian for vodka?
A dog needs to be touched. We all need to be touched.
Olive: No, no. Five fingers. Five toes. Us Snooks are boring that way. I had a cousin with a third nipple. He'd let you see it for a dollar.
Vivian: How fascinating.
Lily: And a bargain, too.
