Favorite Olive Snook Quotes
Olive: Look carefully, ladies; this is your future.
Lily: Is it vodka?
Olive: Water.
Lily: As in Russian for vodka?
Olive: No, no. Five fingers. Five toes. Us Snooks are boring that way. I had a cousin with a third nipple. He'd let you see it for a dollar.
Vivian: How fascinating.
Lily: And a bargain, too.
Olive: There's no alarm system. Got a credit card?
Chuck: Why? You know how to pick locks?
Olive: No. You're gonna need to pay for the damages.
I am a sawed off shotgun full of secrets.
I spent so much time praying, I've run out of things to say. I'm having awkward silences with God!
Lily: This place knows things about me nobody knows.
Olive: Like that you holidayed here thirty years ago and found a baby in a cabbage patch. And by "cabbage patch," I mean your lady parts.
But I like my belongings. That's why they belong to me.
There are Commandments! We follow all ten, and I am commanding you to stop!
Emerson: That was the truth bus.
Olive: That wasn't the truth buss. That was the bitchy, cross town express.
(about John Joseph Jacobs) What if he changes when his blood sugar drops?
Chuck
Olive Like a hypoglycemic werewolf!
Olive: Yesterday, a ferrier named Lucas Shoemaker was found dead. Trampled.
Emerson: Why should I care about a dude that sells fur coats?
Olive: Not a furrier, a ferrier. Heir.
Emerson: Fair-rier?
Olive: It's a blacksmith. Puts shoes on horses.
Emerson: Don't try to act like that's a word everybody knows.
Olive: Here comes the center of the universe, pulling us all into her gravitational orbit of blame.
Chuck: Oh, well, FYI, um, there is no center of the universe because our universe is forever expanding.
Olive: Like your neediness. "Wah, respect my feelings. Wah, don't fence me in. Wah, don't treat me like I'm dead." Well, if you're so dead, how can you be needy? Oh right... you're selfish!
