Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

I'll have you know I'm also a hair donor. Salma Hayek wore me to the Oscars.

Otto: You sell drugs, why can't you dress like that?
Drug Dealer: Cause I use them too idiot.

Hey this is one of the planets in Star Wars.

(On the way to school, Otto stops the bus and offers Metallica a ride; their tour bus has broken down.)
Otto: So what are you waiting for? Hop in.
James Hetfield: (Chuckles) Hop in what?
(The school bus peels away with Bart at the wheel.)
Bart: Look at me, I'm Otto! I'm a hundred years old and I drive a school bus!
Otto: Oh, man. Maybe me and Metallica can go splitsies on a cab.
(Hans Moleman slowly drives by in a pickup truck, with Metallica and their gear in the bed of the truck.)
Kirk Hammett: Hey, loser, we got a ride from a real fan!
Hans Moleman: I used to sleep with Lars' grandmother.
Robert Trujillo: Never listen to our music again!
(Hans Moleman pulls away as Metallica plays an instrumental from the song, "Master of Puppets.")

Why is there a steering wheel in my bedroom?

Otto: What's the matter Lisa, you're normally the first one off this death trap?
Lisa: The combination of me leaving arts camp and you driving on and off the shoulder has made me a little ill.
Otto: I guess I shouldn't be playing this driving game while driving.

(After an insect falls out of his hair) You think you get them all, but you forget about the eggs.

I can't believe I paid ten-thousand dollars for this class. What the hell was that lab fee for!?

The regular school bus broke down, so take a seat before I blow your heads off!

(inside a very large hole)
Mayor Quimby: Mmm, I guess we're not gonna find anything.
Otto: Well how we gonna get outta here?
Homer: We'll dig our way out!
Chief Wiggum: No, no, dig up, stupid!

Gerry: Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. Welcome to Mr. Burns' Casino! If there's anything I can do to make your visit more
enjoyable, please: just let me know.
Otto: Er, great. See ya!
Gerry: Uh, don't forget to apply for our V.I.P. Platinum Club for special discounts on
Otto: Hey! I said, bug off!
(Otto punches him in the jaw, and he collapses)

Bart: Otto, are you okay?
Otto: Yeah. Just pop my shoulder back in. (Bart does so) Thanks, little buddy! Awwwww I missed my turn!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 37 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
x Close Ad