I'll have you know I'm also a hair donor. Salma Hayek wore me to the Oscars.

Otto: You sell drugs, why can't you dress like that?
Drug Dealer: Cause I use them too idiot.

Hey this is one of the planets in Star Wars.

(On the way to school, Otto stops the bus and offers Metallica a ride; their tour bus has broken down.)
Otto: So what are you waiting for? Hop in.
James Hetfield: (Chuckles) Hop in what?
(The school bus peels away with Bart at the wheel.)
Bart: Look at me, I'm Otto! I'm a hundred years old and I drive a school bus!
Otto: Oh, man. Maybe me and Metallica can go splitsies on a cab.
(Hans Moleman slowly drives by in a pickup truck, with Metallica and their gear in the bed of the truck.)
Kirk Hammett: Hey, loser, we got a ride from a real fan!
Hans Moleman: I used to sleep with Lars' grandmother.
Robert Trujillo: Never listen to our music again!
(Hans Moleman pulls away as Metallica plays an instrumental from the song, "Master of Puppets.")

Why is there a steering wheel in my bedroom?

Otto: What's the matter Lisa, you're normally the first one off this death trap?
Lisa: The combination of me leaving arts camp and you driving on and off the shoulder has made me a little ill.
Otto: I guess I shouldn't be playing this driving game while driving.

(After an insect falls out of his hair) You think you get them all, but you forget about the eggs.

I can't believe I paid ten-thousand dollars for this class. What the hell was that lab fee for!?

The regular school bus broke down, so take a seat before I blow your heads off!

(inside a very large hole)
Mayor Quimby: Mmm, I guess we're not gonna find anything.
Otto: Well how we gonna get outta here?
Homer: We'll dig our way out!
Chief Wiggum: No, no, dig up, stupid!

Gerry: Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. Welcome to Mr. Burns' Casino! If there's anything I can do to make your visit more
enjoyable, please: just let me know.
Otto: Er, great. See ya!
Gerry: Uh, don't forget to apply for our V.I.P. Platinum Club for special discounts on
Otto: Hey! I said, bug off!
(Otto punches him in the jaw, and he collapses)

Bart: Otto, are you okay?
Otto: Yeah. Just pop my shoulder back in. (Bart does so) Thanks, little buddy! Awwwww I missed my turn!

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart