Cheryl: Oh please, you invented racism? Also, you're just a reconstructed light field produced by firing a razor through a beam splitter..
Krieger's artificial girlfriend: Waaaww!
Pam: Yeah dude, not cool..
- Permalink: you're just a reconstructed light field
Pam: Can we talk for a second?
Cyril: Is that before Krieger sexually assaulted a 220 outlet. (group laughs)
- Permalink: Is that before Krieger sexually assaulted a 220 outlet
Cheryl: See what? What's Area 51?
Pam: What's Area--, are you shitting me? Everybody knows about Area 51.
Archer: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread.
- Permalink: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread
Cyril: And basically the only thing that keeps you from murdering each other is a lack of access to fire arms.
Pam: Works for Canada.
Cheryl: Nothing works for Canada.
- Permalink: Nothing works for Canada
Pam: Psst, Cyril rub one out.
Cyril: I do NOT want to masturbate
Pam: Not even after that (referencing Ray and Lana wrestling)
- Permalink: Cyril, rub one out
Barry: Said the dumbwaiter. Get it Archer? As in you're dumb and you dress like a waiter?
Pam: Told ya!
Archer: Goddamnit Pam! This is exactly what a man should wear to a (wedding)
- Permalink: Said the dumbwaiter
Pam: I don't want a show up with a black eye.
Archer: Not a real diverse crowd?
Pam: Eye, idiot! Eye! Although no, not a lot of black guys in rural Wisconsin, and I don't want to sound racist but...
Archer: Power through it
- Permalink: Although no, not a lot of black guys in rural Wisconsin
We'll go help you look for AJ in like five-teen forty minutes
- Permalink: We'll go help you look for AJ in like five-teen forty minutes
I mean is Is it too much to ask during the goddamn work day for 80 minutes each of uninterrupted dump time?
Ray: Is this Brett's blood?
Cheryl: Ugh no, just the same type. We had to fudge it a little on the stains, some of which actually were fudge
Pam: And some of which merely resembled it
- Permalink: And some of which merely resembled it
You know how many times I helped a cow give birth in the barn? Plus one time my sister Edie? Well, she couldn't have it in the house! Long story. A long, racist story.
Pam: Now I feel like an asshole.
Malory: When do you not?
Pam: Almost always. I really like me!
- Permalink: Almost always. I really like me!
Cheryl: What the stupid shit are you doing??
Cyril: You said you wanted watermelon.
Cheryl: Watermelon's red?
Cyril: Yes. How do you not know that?
Cheryl: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?
- Permalink: Who am I? Charles Frederick Andress?
Cyril: Archer, do something!
Archer: Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X-Men, remember?
- Permalink: Archer, do something! Who am I, Alan Turing? He was also in X...