Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer

Cheryl: It tastes worse than it smells!
Pam: Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say that, i'd have eight nickels!

How about you Ironside, you riding dirty?

Pam: I for one an going to watch Hooper until my fingers bleed.
Cheryl: Just tape them up.

I swear to god you could drown a toddler in my panties right now.

I don't even remember who peed on your sofa. But if I was a gambling man...

You're so hot for him, I could reheat this chili in your chooch. So how about it? Chooch chili?

Pam: What a hunk
Cheryl: Total sploosh.
Lana: Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
Gillette: And whatever my equivalent of sploosh. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.

Archer: You swallowed a pool ball?
Pam: I wish just one and I still got two to go.

Who taught you to punch, your husband?

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