Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American.
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Leonard: And we weren't even watching TV! We were watching Netflix like the kids do!
Penny: Yeah! Is it a comedy? Is it a drama? Nobody knows!

Penny: See, this is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol she generally means business.

Leonard: I'm telling you, you can't create love in a few hours. Right?
Penny: Careful. You're poking at the whole foundation of The Bachelor.

Sheldon: When I lost my father, I didn't have any friends to help me through it. You do.
Penny: I really thought he was going to say, "Let it go."

Penny: I don't want five dollars. I want my dignity.
Amy: So what are we talking about? Ten bucks?

Oh, hey! Did you see that? I figured out how to open my door all by myself. Maybe I'll fling some feces around my cage to celebrate.

Sheldon: Gee, Penny. Life's given me lemons, what should I do?
Penny: You could shove them somewhere.
Sheldon: Okay, now you're getting creative.

Amy: Okay, that's enough.
Penny: What? No! I really want to know what happens-- and Bernadette really, really, really wants to know what happens.

Penny reading Amy's book: "Amelia stood before the newly repaired time machine.She regretted giving Cooper the part he needed."
Bernadette: Because she wanted him to give her the part she needed.

Penny: You look like a talking cupcake!
Pageant Bernadette: And you should pick me for Miss California Quiznos 1999, because I want to...Tell you what I want, what I really really want I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna Really, really, really be Miss California Quiznos 1999!

Leonard: This... is exciting. This is really exciting. I have to go find Sheldon.
Penny: Okay, well, if you find him, use the kitchen island- that coffee table will not support both of you.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors

Sheldon