Penny: Oh, I know. We could go horseback riding.
Amy: Actually I can't. My hips don't open wider than 22 degrees. I rode a very thin pony once. On the first bump I just pssshh, popped right off.

Sheldon: You know, speaking of attorneys,if I ever needed a lawyer,I would not hire She-Hulk.
Penny: You know what? That was almost on topic. I'm gonna say, "Good job, Sheldon."

Bernadette: I mean, maybe I come off a little strong, but that's only because my dad raised me to be tough and not to take
crap from anybody.
Penny: No. That's fine, but there's a difference between being tough and telling your friend her new pants look like a saggy diaper.
Bernadette: I did say that, didn't I?
Penny: Yeah, you did. I felt so self-conscious, I had to return them.
Bernadette: Where? To Babies R Us?

Bernadette: What's his problem?
Penny: Oh. I don't know. Maybe he didn't like the fact that you called his grandson a wuss.
Bernadette: Well, I didn't think you were supposed to say "sissy" anymore.

Dan: Bernadette. Cute, sweet...vicious little Bernadette.
Penny: Come on. She's not that bad.
Dan: Oh, yeah? At the company picnic she yelled at me and my grandson for losing the three-legged race. I mean, he still calls her "that mean kid with the big boobies."

Penny: Okay, the reason he deceived you is you were being
a pain in the ass.
Sheldon: The reason I was being a pain in the B is because I was worried about him, and no one else was.
Penny: Really? You won't even say "A"?
Sheldon: You bet your sweet B I won't.

Sheldon: I assume this medical center's already treated the burns on your bottom from the recent pants fire.
Penny: 'Cause I'm a liar, liar?
Sheldon: That's for the fire marshal to determine.

Sheldon: But you don't have a life-threatening condition. Why would you take the risk of surgery?
Leonard: Sheldon, it's a routine procedure.
Penny: I've heard you complain about his snoring.
Sheldon: We... Yes, for the first five or six years, but I've gotten used to it. It helps me sleep. He's like my mucus-powered white noise machine.

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny: Prom is silly anyways.
Bernadette: Easy for you to say; you probably went with the captain of the football team.
Penny: No. I just made out with him a little while his date was puking.

Penny: That, believe it or not, is my prom dress.
Bernadette: Wow, you still have it? I just assumed it was balled up in the corner of a barn somewhere.
Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
Bernadette: Slutty.
Amy: Easy.
Penny: The word is "popular."

Penny: You locked them in your basement?!
Dr. Lorvis: Well, they're, they're not locked in. The door just sticks.
Penny: Okay, so how do they unstick it?
Dr. Lorvis: They'd need the key.

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj