You know you're really not allowed to face death without me.

Myka: So what about Paul Bunyan's axe, or David's slingshot?
Pete: Or how about bag of magical beans?
Artie: We got the axe, we got the slingshot. The beans, please - that's just a fairytale.
Pete: It's good to know where we draw the line.

Throw in some deadly marbles and Harry Potter becomes Full Metal Jacket.

Myka: I'm gonna check his browser history.
Pete: Oh, look at you going all Claudia.

You guys sound excited! Did I solve it?!

I'm looking for "ye old truffle shop-y" Anything? It's in my Go France guide, and I promised the missus I'd get her some of those 'shrooms she loves.

Tell them to name something after me. Not a mall.

Pete: One time an artifact made me think I slept with Myka.
Myka: Pete!
Pete: Exactly.

Pete: Special Agent Pete Lattimer, Secret Service.
Ranger Smith: Secret Service, no? That is very cool. I'm a Ranger Abbott Smith.
Pete: Hey hey Mr. Ranger Sir [Yogi Bear impersonation] I'm sorry, you must get that all the time. Hey hey Boo Boo [Yogi Bear impersonation].
Ranger Smith: Nah, can't say that I do.
Pete: No? The cartoon?

Pete: Use your feminine wiles. Smile. You're pretty when you smile.
Myka: I am?
Pete: Yeah.
Myka: So what does that mean when I'm not smiling?
Pete: Kind of frightening.

Brady: Tillman is competitive, especially this week because of the I.M.T.s.
Pete: Oh right. The I.M.T.s . The international monkey....
Hugo: Interschool Multi-discipline Tournament.
Hugo: Like Hogwarts.
Pete: Oh right!

Myka: Say it.
Pete: Fine, you were right, zapping her should have been Plan A.