Phoebe Buffay Quotes
Phoebe: (About Roger) I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, ya know?
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, ya know? Vinyl.
Phoebe: Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys. (Chandler laughs) So what's going on?
Monica: Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger.
Ross: I dunno, there's just something about...
Chandler: Basically we just feel that he's...
Rachel: We hate that guy.
All: Yeah. Hate him.
Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out?
All: ...No, we hate him.
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Ross: I'm familiar with his work. Yes.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool... It says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta.
Chandler: And we're done with the yogurt.
Rachel: Oh my God. Why have I never tasted these before?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot, because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.
Monica: What's the matter?
Phoebe: Nothing. I'm sorry. I'm just out of sorts.
Chandler: Well, you can use some of my sorts. I rarely use them.
Phoebe: (About Coma Guy's name) What about Glen? He could be a Glen.
Monica: Nah, not special enough.
Phoebe: Ooh! How about Agamemnon?
Monica: Way too special.
Phoebe: (To Coma Guy) Get up, you Girl Scout! Up, up, up!
Monica: What are you doing?
Phoebe: Maybe nobody's tried this.
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not "reaching for her heaving beasts."
Monica: What's a "niffle"?
Joey: You usually find them on the "heaving beasts."
Rachel: Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his "huge throbbing pens"? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Rachel: Alright, that's it. Give them back.
Phoebe: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no. I just got to the part about her "public hair."
Phoebe: Do you think they have yesterday's daily news?
Monica: Why?
Phoebe: Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.
Phoebe: Going to the hospital tonight?
Monica: No, you?
Phoebe: No, you?
Monica: You just asked me.
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question.
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Phoebe: Yeah, you wish!
