Phoebe Buffay Quotes
Paolo: Phoebe, anche tu bellissima. Se siete tutte cos belle mi trasferisco proprio qui.
Phoebe: You betcha!
Phoebe: Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.
(They all look out the window and then flinch in pain)
Rachel: That had to hurt!
Phoebe: This is so typical. I'm always the last one to know everything.
Monica: No, you are not. We tell you stuff.
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
One time I went out with a guy who had just gotten divorced, and it was really hard. His kids liked me better than him.
You know how you sometimes see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys? You could be one of those guys!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Chandler: Thank god! You didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Phoebe: Wait here. Breathe.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Chandler: How do you do that?
Phoebe: It's like a gift.
Chandler: We should always always break up together.
Phoebe: Oh, I'd like that.
Phoebe: (About breaking up with Janice) This is nice. We never do things just the two of us.
Chandler: (Sarcastically) Oh yeah, this is great. Maybe next week we could rent a car and go run over some puppies.
Phoebe: No, I don't want to do that!
Monica: You're breaking up with Tony?
Phoebe: Yeah, he's sweet, but I don't know, it's just not fun anymore. I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or...
Joanne: Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm?
(She points to herself. They scream.)
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news...
(She shows them her engagement ring. They scream.)
Phoebe: (To Monica) Look, look, I have elbows!
(She holds up her elbows. They scream.)
Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest. And bigger boobs!
Oh and I brought Operation! I lost the tweezers so we can't operate, but we can prep the guy!
