Phyllis: Her hair looks beautiful.
Andy: Yeah we get it Phyllis. She looks like a freakin' movie star!

Oscar: It looks like the camera man was hiding behind the shelves.
Phyllis: Wait, so they were filming all the time even when we didn't know it?

Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

If I wanted Jamaican food I'd just hire a bunch of body guards and go there.

We have a gym at home. It's called the bedroom.

Phyllis: Is she Asian?
Erin: I don't know. She's from somewhere, I bet.

Creed: He put some snacks in the freezer for us.
Pam: You mean the frozen mice for the piranha?
Creed: No, the blueberry slurpy pouch.
Phyllis: He means the ice pack.

Andy: You know I'm the worst salesman here right?
Michael: But you're the best salesman on the inside.
Phyllis: What does that even mean?
Michael: You sold us all on Andy, a product that nobody wanted.

Blue Wasabi is so good but get the Cheeseburger. They say they won't do it, but they will if you make a scene.

I like being in the same building as Bob. It keeps me honest.

Phyllis: I got stung up my dress.
Dwight: Poor hornet.

I'm glad Michael's getting help. He has a lot of issues and he's stupid.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.

Andy