Phyllis Vance Quotes
Michael: Who here has been the but of a joke that has gone too far? Phyllis.
Phyllis: Michael you make fun of us everyday.
Kevin: Yeah. Every single day.
Michael: Uh, you never said anything.
Meredith: Uh, we have. Countless times.
Michael: Well it is hard to tell the difference between you guys saying "Stop! Because I want you to stop" and "Stop!" as in "Stop you're making making me laugh so hard. What you're doing is so funny. You are on a roll I am a busting a gut. Stoppp!"
Angela: That's never been the case.
Michael: Any messages?
Erin: You're soaking wet.
Michael: Jim and I got caught in a little flash... rain. Flash winds, flash lightning.
Phyllis: Wow. Sounds scary.
Michael: It was. It was. And then in an instant, it wasn't!
Angela: Why isn't Jim wet?
Jim: I... outran it.
Meredith: I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.
Michael: It rained.
Dwight: Michael, can I get you something? A towel, some cocoa?
Michael Scott: Nothing. Cocoa.
Creed: Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"?
Michael: I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story!
Oscar: Don't you mean, Coy Story?
Phyllis: And when you fell in, did you Flounder?
Dwight: Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish-
Michael: I know what a flounder is!
Pam: I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes ME an apology.
Michael: For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover?
Pam: Don't call my mother your lover!
Kevin: Yes! That's what I'm talking about.
Andy: That is not okay dude.
Michael: Okay, in my defense...
Phyllis: Disgusting.
Creed: That's messed up man.
Pam: Yes. Thank you. Welcome to my personal hell!
Oscar: You have no sense of boundaries, Michael.
Michael: Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but could I just say one thing? Please? What is so wrong about me. I'm caring. I'm generous. I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness?
Phyllis: Good luck Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Oscar: Maybe you're right. Who are we to-
Pam: Shut up Oscar! What is wrong with all of you!? He is sleeping with my mother!
Dwight: I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on!
Kevin: What does a bean mean?
Pam: Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?
Kevin: Michael, what does a bean mean.
Pam: Jim?
Jim: I was just trying to be unbiased.
Kevin: WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN.
Oscar: Would someone please explain to Kevin?
Meredith: Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours.
Phyllis: Not according to the beans.
Dwight: Are we idiots? What right, does Jim have to claim authority? Is he as good a salesman as I? Is he as matronly as Phyllis? There are moments where we can affect change. For a few seconds every decade... We exist. These are those seconds! Let us storm his castle. Come on! (Tick.) Let's get him. (Tock.) Let's get Jim! (Tick.) And drag Jim out of his office. (Tock.) Take his keys away from him! (Tick!) That's a clock! The time is getting very close. It's now or never. [screams] What say you!
Phyllis: I say no.
Dwight: No I mean, what do you say to my plan.
Kevin: [playing volleyball] I got it. [Kevin misses]
Dwight: Ohh! Oh, Kevin! Come on!
Andy: Are you blind?!
Dwight: I could've gotten that, idiot!
Andy: Can you see things with your eyeballs?!
Dwight: It's not a sledgehammer! Come on, people! We need to get our heads in the game! Let's focus! Come on, you're better than this! I am better than this! Phyllis, why are you sitting on the ground?!
Phyllis: We've been out here for a while. I don't need this.
Michael: Hey! Hey! Jim and Pam! Can you believe this? It's really happening.
Phyllis: Wanna dance, Dwight?
Dwight: Ordinarily I would say no but you need to move to reduce lactic acid build-up. Also, this song is fantastic.
Bob Vance: Mind if I steal my wife?
Dwight: You can't steal what is legally your property.
Bob Vance: Are those staples?
Dwight: This is oil from the gland of an otter. It keeps their fur water resistant, as well as traps heat. Now I need you to lie still for an hour.
Phyllis: An hour? I can't stay here an hour.
Dwight: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, girl. Whoa. Whoa.
Phyllis: That feels good, Dwight.
Dwight: Tell me where it hurts.
Phylis: Right... mmmm... right there.
Dwight: Oh yeah. you've got a knot in your crest. This remedy has been passed down in my family for generations. and it always works. My grandfather was told that Diamond Dancer would never race again. they were wrong. He came in 9th in the Apple Creek Derby and his jerky came in 3rd the following year. A majestic beast. So fast. So tender.
Dwight: You comfy? Alright? Alright. Relax. Relax, ok?
Phyllis: Dwight! Dwight!
Dwight: Come on. Relax. The shirt wasn't doing you any favors. If my assessment in correct, you grind your teeth?
Phyllis: I do.
