Community

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Pierce: What do you want me to do?
Jeff: Stay alive...or don't!
Pierce: I'm on it!

Anything could happen between now and that dance. An asteroid could hit. Do you want to be the schmuck who apologizes right before the world ends?

The barber shop--a reminder of the era when men were men, and women were sex-cooks who did laundry.

You ask one lady if she's Tyler Perry in drag and suddenly you're the bad guy.

Pierce: Let's carve that jive turkey.
Shirley: Got that out of your system?

No one's even willing to consider that I might be the Hitler of the group?

Did you know that in ancient Greece, it was considered an honor to invite a person my age to a space convention?

Ghosts can't go through doors, stupid. They're not fire!

Pierce: If you knew what spooked me, you'd probably call me crazy and old.
Jeff: No one's going to call you, Pierce.

A, that is racist. B, swamis can't drive, they're Indians.

White crystal, do you think dad was into meth?

Don't use gay as a derogatory term. Boo-yeah! Good person.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 112 in total

Community Quotes

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]