Pierce Hawthorne Quotes
Season 4, Episode 11: "Basic Human Anatomy"
Pierce: What do you want me to do?
Jeff: Stay alive...or don't!
Pierce: I'm on it!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 8: "Herstory of Dance"
Pierce: Anything could happen between now and that dance. An asteroid could hit. Do you want to be the schmuck who apologizes right before the world ends?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 7: "Economics of Marine Biology"
Pierce: The barber shop--a reminder of the era when men were men, and women were sex-cooks who did laundry.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 5: "Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"
Pierce: You ask one lady if she's Tyler Perry in drag and suddenly you're the bad guy.
• Rating: Unrated
Pierce: Let's carve that jive turkey.
Shirley: Got that out of your system?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 4: "Alternative History of the German Invasion"
Pierce: No one's even willing to consider that I might be the Hitler of the group?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 3: "Conventions of Space and Time"
Pierce: Did you know that in ancient Greece, it was considered an honor to invite a person my age to a space convention?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 2: "Paranormal Parentage"
Pierce: Ghosts can't go through doors, stupid. They're not fire!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Pierce: If you knew what spooked me, you'd probably call me crazy and old.
Jeff: No one's going to call you, Pierce.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 21: "The First Chang Dynasty"
Pierce: A, that is racist. B, swamis can't drive, they're Indians.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 112
