Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBC
Community

Pierce: What do you want me to do?
Jeff: Stay alive...or don't!
Pierce: I'm on it!

Anything could happen between now and that dance. An asteroid could hit. Do you want to be the schmuck who apologizes right before the world ends?

The barber shop--a reminder of the era when men were men, and women were sex-cooks who did laundry.

You ask one lady if she's Tyler Perry in drag and suddenly you're the bad guy.

Pierce: Let's carve that jive turkey.
Shirley: Got that out of your system?

No one's even willing to consider that I might be the Hitler of the group?

Did you know that in ancient Greece, it was considered an honor to invite a person my age to a space convention?

Ghosts can't go through doors, stupid. They're not fire!

Pierce: If you knew what spooked me, you'd probably call me crazy and old.
Jeff: No one's going to call you, Pierce.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 112 in total