Friends

Rachel Green Quotes (Page 3)

Rachel: Okay, you'd tell me the truth, right?
Ross: Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chandler: (To Ross) How'd the thing go tonight, Ross?
Ross: Oh, it was, nah, well...
Rachel: What thing? What is this thing?
Ross: I was kinda supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
Rachel: Oh, my God!
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: Ross, why didn't you tell me that?
Ross: Eh, 'cause I knew that if I told you, you'd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Rachel: I cannot believe you.
Ross: What?
Rachel: That is the sweetest thing, I just... (they stare at each other)
Ross: (breaking the silence) You should get some sleep.
Rachel: Okay.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Monica: Come on Rach. When a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call. This never happened to you?
Rachel: Well, they always called.
Monica: Hm, bite me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: I'm telling ya, Joanna's got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, "This was fun. Let's do it again sometime. I'll give you a call."
Rachel: Oh, gee. I wonder why she thinks you're going to call her?
Chandler: That's what you say at the end of a date.
Rachel: You can't just say, "Nice to meet you. Good night?"
Chandler: To her face?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: (After Mark kisses her) I'm sorry, Mark, I can't do this. I'm just doing this to get back at Ross. It's not fair to you.
Mark: Ah, fair, schmair! If you want to get back at Ross, I'm here for you!
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: Wow! I cannot believe Mark asked you out.
Rachel: I know.
Phoebe: What, so what are you gonna tell him?
Rachel: Well, I told him I would think about it, but I'm gonna tell him no.
Phoebe: Huh.
Rachel: I mean I think I'd say no to anybody right now. Oh, but it was so strange. I mean I'm standing there with this charming, cute guy, who's asking me to go out with him, which I'm allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Ya know, like I'd be cheating on Ross or something.
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that you're not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Rachel: I don't have any issues with my father.
Phoebe: Okay, so it's probably just the Ross thing then.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ross: You, ah, wanted to see me?
Rachel: Yeah. Ah, here's a box of your stuff.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Oh, ya know, it's just like hats, and a shirt, and CDs, just sort of stuff that you've left here.
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me or something?
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that ya know, it's time we, we ya know, move on.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Rachel: Ross, I watched you get hypnotized in Atlantic City.
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotize me! Okay?
Rachel: Oh right, 'cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play "Wipe Out" on your butt cheeks.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: (About Pete asking Monica out) Well, I mean, are you sure you wanna go out with her? I mean, that ain't a pretty picture in the morning. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the nightstand.
Monica: I mean, really, think about it.
Pete: Oh, I will.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: (About Pete's tip) Oh, my God. I can't believe this is a real $20,000 check. Oh, this is just so exciting.
Monica: Or incredibly offensive.
Rachel: Oh yeah, sure, that too.
 • Rating: Unrated

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