Rachel Green Quotes
Rachel: (After Mark kisses her) I'm sorry, Mark, I can't do this. I'm just doing this to get back at Ross. It's not fair to you.
Mark: Ah, fair, schmair! If you want to get back at Ross, I'm here for you!
Ross: You, ah, wanted to see me?
Rachel: Yeah. Ah, here's a box of your stuff.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Oh, ya know, it's just like hats, and a shirt, and CDs, just sort of stuff that you've left here.
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me or something?
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that ya know, it's time we, we ya know, move on.
Phoebe: Wow! I cannot believe Mark asked you out.
Rachel: I know.
Phoebe: What, so what are you gonna tell him?
Rachel: Well, I told him I would think about it, but I'm gonna tell him no.
Phoebe: Huh.
Rachel: I mean I think I'd say no to anybody right now. Oh, but it was so strange. I mean I'm standing there with this charming, cute guy, who's asking me to go out with him, which I'm allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Ya know, like I'd be cheating on Ross or something.
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that you're not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Rachel: I don't have any issues with my father.
Phoebe: Okay, so it's probably just the Ross thing then.
Rachel: (About Pete's tip) Oh, my God. I can't believe this is a real $20,000 check. Oh, this is just so exciting.
Monica: Or incredibly offensive.
Rachel: Oh yeah, sure, that too.
Rachel: (About Pete asking Monica out) Well, I mean, are you sure you wanna go out with her? I mean, that ain't a pretty picture in the morning. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the nightstand.
Monica: I mean, really, think about it.
Pete: Oh, I will.
Ross: It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Rachel: Ross, I watched you get hypnotized in Atlantic City.
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotize me! Okay?
Rachel: Oh right, 'cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play "Wipe Out" on your butt cheeks.
Rachel: Oh my god! Chandler, you're smoking again.
Chandler: Shut up, you're not my real mom!
Rachel: You're a terrible skier.
Ross (Sarcastic): Oh, hitting me where it hurts. My ski skills.
No! I am not getting in a car with Ross! We will just have to ... live here!
Ross: This can't be it.
Rachel: Then how come it is?
No. I can't. You're a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me. Ever. God, and now I can't stop picturing you with her. I can't. It doesn't matter what you say or what you do, Ross. It's just changed everything. Forever.
Ross: I made a mistake, okay?
Rachel: A mistake? What were you trying to put it in, her purse?
