Go away! She wants New Delhi, not Kosher Deli!

Raj: We'd just see what's what.
Sheldon: That's a semantically null sentence.

It's like we both had these holes in our lives, but now we fill each other's holes.

"Sorry" doesn't make up for the fact that I had to make chicken and rice with this vegan guy! Do you know what vegan chicken and rice is? Rice!

Penny: Oh, okay, look. THIS. NEVER. HAPPENED. Do you understand me?
Raj: (nodding)
Penny: Really?! Still can't talk to me?!

Raj: In Avatar, when they have sex on pandora they hook up their ponytails, so we know that their ponytails are like their junk.
Wolowitz: Yeah, so?
Raj: So when they ride horses and fly on the birds, they also use their ponytails...
Wolowitz: What's your point?
Raj: My point is if I were a horse or a bird, I'd be very nervous around James Cameron.

Wolowitz: Okay forgot giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
Sheldon: Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. And as a side note, they are one of the few animals whose scrotum is on the front of the penis.
Raj: Maybe that's what they want to talk about.

Penny: All right, try thinking about this -- Sheldon and Amy had sex.
Raj: Shut your ass.

Does the elastic woman in "The Incredibles" use birth control or can she actually be a diaphragm.

Raj: Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Bernadette: Heterosexual, my ass.

But e-excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what its like to the be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!

Raj: Woh, woh, woh! I don't want to speak to the FBI.
Leonard: Why not?
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.