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(on Hyde's history paper)
Laurie: Oh yeah, what'd you get? A D?
Hyde: No. A C minus. (Red and Kitty cheer)
Eric: I got a B.
Red: You couldn't get an A?

Red: Pork chops? I thought we agreed do stick to a budget! Pork chops aren't cheap!
Kitty: Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy!

Red: (bleep) Damn it! I am tired of being (bleep) Santa Claus! Steven, you get your (bleep) together and you get your ass in the (bleep) damn car! We're going! (bleep) Now (bleep) damn it! Move it!
Hyde: Okay.
Kitty: You are just the sweetest man alive.
Red: (bleep)!

Eric, didn't I tell you to wash up for dinner. I know, it's difficult to hear with your head up your ass.

Red: No, I'm not going over there. That's final. I am not Santa Claus.
Kitty: Well, thank God you're not Santa Claus, Red. You scare the hell out of children.

Eric: Hey, Dad. Can I talk to you for a sec? Do you think that Hyde can stay for dinner?
Red: Eric, again? I can't afford to feed your friend. I can't even afford to feed you, but the law requires me to!

Fez: Mister Red, always remember: a mother's goodness is carried on forever by her sons.
(Marty starts crying.)
Red: Have you met my sister, Marty?

What are you going to put on your resume, 'Dumbass'?

</i> Red

I was driving home from the plant and I saw the water tower. It looked like it was giving me the finger.

Red: Are you on dope? Are you?
Kitty: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization--
Red: My foot kicking your ass.

Bob: Hit him with a banjo!
Red: A banjo, Bob?
Bob: Yeah.
Red: Where is he gonna get a banjo?
Bob: I don't know. But I saw a guy get hit with a banjo once, and he went down!

Red: You can hit him in the groin.
Bob: You can hit him in the groin with a banjo.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 33 in total

That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.