(on Hyde's history paper)
Laurie: Oh yeah, what'd you get? A D?
Hyde: No. A C minus. (Red and Kitty cheer)
Eric: I got a B.
Red: You couldn't get an A?

Red: (bleep) Damn it! I am tired of being (bleep) Santa Claus! Steven, you get your (bleep) together and you get your ass in the (bleep) damn car! We're going! (bleep) Now (bleep) damn it! Move it!
Hyde: Okay.
Kitty: You are just the sweetest man alive.
Red: (bleep)!

Eric, didn't I tell you to wash up for dinner. I know, it's difficult to hear with your head up your ass.

Red: No, I'm not going over there. That's final. I am not Santa Claus.
Kitty: Well, thank God you're not Santa Claus, Red. You scare the hell out of children.

Red: Pork chops? I thought we agreed do stick to a budget! Pork chops aren't cheap!
Kitty: Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy!

Eric: Hey, Dad. Can I talk to you for a sec? Do you think that Hyde can stay for dinner?
Red: Eric, again? I can't afford to feed your friend. I can't even afford to feed you, but the law requires me to!

Fez: Mister Red, always remember: a mother's goodness is carried on forever by her sons.
(Marty starts crying.)
Red: Have you met my sister, Marty?

What are you going to put on your resume, 'Dumbass'?

</i> Red

Red: Are you on dope? Are you?
Kitty: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization--
Red: My foot kicking your ass.

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