That 70's Show

That 70's Show Quotes

Season 1 Episode 25: "The Good Son"

Kelso: You know, Hyde, seeing you work hard and take pride in what you do... I lost a lot of respect for you, man.
Fez: You used to be my hero. My lazy American hero.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hyde: Give me a break, Forman. I don't have a mommy.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Donna: So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I can't, because they're both idiots.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Donna: This whole divorce thing could actually work to my advantage.
Jackie: Exactly!
Donna: Yeah... I just have to make it very clear that my love is contingent on how much they buy me!
Jackie: Why am I even talking to you about this? You have a great handle on it.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Eric: Didn't you just, like, flunk out of college?
Laurie: Get bent, twerp.
Eric: Wear a bra!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Eric (to Hyde): You're like the brother I never had. I mean, I have a sister, but I hate her, so this is great!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Donna: Excuse me, Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul?
Jackie: Um, cheerleading camp.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(on Hyde's history paper)
Laurie: Oh yeah, what'd you get? A D?
Hyde: No. A C minus. (Red and Kitty cheer)
Eric: I got a B.
Red: You couldn't get an A?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Eric and Laurie are fighting at dinner)
Hyde: Could we please not fight?
Laurie (imitating Hyde): Could we please not fight?
Eric (to Hyde): Could you please not suck?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 24: "Hyde Moves In"

Red: Eric, didn't I tell you to wash up for dinner. I know, it's difficult to hear with your head up your ass.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Red: No, I'm not going over there. That's final. I am not Santa Claus.
Kitty: Well, thank God you're not Santa Claus, Red. You scare the hell out of children.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Red: (bleep) Damn it! I am tired of being (bleep) Santa Claus! Steven, you get your (bleep) together and you get your ass in the (bleep) damn car! We're going! (bleep) Now (bleep) damn it! Move it!
Hyde: Okay.
Kitty: You are just the sweetest man alive.
Red: (bleep)!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Red: Pork chops? I thought we agreed do stick to a budget! Pork chops aren't cheap!
Kitty: Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Eric: Hey, Dad. Can I talk to you for a sec? Do you think that Hyde can stay for dinner?
Red: Eric, again? I can't afford to feed your friend. I can't even afford to feed you, but the law requires me to!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Hyde throws his phone at the wall when he sees Eric)
Hyde: Hey Forman.
Eric: Hi.
Hyde: Come on in. make yourself at home. I'm out of beer, but if you want you could break something.
Eric: Actually, I had my eye on the phone, so...
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 23: "Grandma's Dead"

(while looking into Grandma Forman's casket)
Fez: Oh my God, there's a body in here!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Eric: I killed her. She was old, and the shock of her grandson telling her that she was nasty killed her.
Donna: Have you talked to Red about this?
Eric: I'm not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didn't rake the yard? And this is like, twice as bad!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jackie (to Red): I'm really sorry your mom died. It's like... sad and stuff.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hyde: Red, I'm sorry your mom died and I'm sorry Kelso's an idiot.
 • Rating: Unrated

Fez: Mister Red, always remember: a mother's goodness is carried on forever by her sons.
(Marty starts crying.)
Red: Have you met my sister, Marty?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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