Ron Swanson Quotes
Season 5, Episode 21: "Swing Vote"
Ron: I believe in cutting useless government projects. I also believe in cutting useful government projects.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 20: "Jerry's Scrapbook"
Tom: Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
Ron: No.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 19: "Article Two"
Ron: There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: Normally, if given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I'll do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant that nothing got done.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 18: "Animal Control"
Ron: What's cholesterol?
• Rating: Unrated
Ann: How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?
Ron: One.
Ann: That's it? One drink?
Ron: One shelf.
Ann: Do you exercise?
Ron: Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.
Ann: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?
Ron: I have an uncle who does yoga.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 17: "Partridge"
Ron: There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: I'll represent myself as I do in all legal matters and livestock auctions.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 16: "Bailout"
Ron: I'll have number eight.
Waiter: That's a party platter.
Ron: I know what I am, son.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 15: "Correspondents' Lunch"
Ron: I wish this office had only walls.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 223
