Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

Computers are mostly pointless, but that Yelp thing gave me a great idea on how to criticize people in places.

Children are terrible artists and artists are crooks.

There has never been a sadness not cured by breakfast food.

Tom put all my records into this rectangle!

I believe luck is a concept invented by the weak to explain their failures.

Ben: Today is Leslie’s last day as a counselor, so everyone needs to be extra supportive.
Ron: Already done. When I walked past her this morning, I gave her a kind nod.

Chris: Ron, I want to do things the Swanson way.
Ron: Wonderful. First rule. No conversation lasts longer than 100 total words. I have used 9. You have used 20.

Donna: Oh my God, you are such a sore loser.
Ron: I am not a sore loser. It’s just that I prefer to win and when I don’t, I get furious.

I will leave my children $50 a piece. Enough for the cab ride home from the funeral and a steak dinner. End of discussion.

Ron: The three most useless jobs in the world in order are: lawyer, congressman, and doctor.

I've had the same will since I was 8 years old. Upon my death, I will transfer all of my belongings to the man or animal who has killed me.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 255 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.