Favorite Ross Geller Quotes
Celia: Say something... hot.
Ross: (Panicked) Er... um...
Celia: What?
Ross: Um... uh... vulva.
Monica: I'll meet someone else. There'll be other Alans.
All: Oh, yeah! Right!
Monica: Are you guys going to be okay?
Ross: Hey, we'll be fine. We're just going to need a little time.
Ross: I don't know whether he's testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, supposedly by accident.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I've done that.
Ross: And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did and peed all over the crossword.
Rachel: I've never done that.
Ross: (While watching television) Man, I sure miss Julie.
Chandler: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Okay, yes, I see how you got there.
Ross: That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
Monica: No. No, I don't.
Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?
Ross: My friend, Bethel, rescued him from some lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
Ross: Listen. Um, listen. Something you should ... know ... um, Rachel and I ... we're kind of a thing.
Paolo: Thing?
Ross: Thing, yes. Thing.
Paolo: Ah, you ... have the sex?
Ross: No, no, no. Technically the ... sex is not ... being had, but that's ... see, that's not the point.
Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity.
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya!
Ross: (Looking at baby pictures) And here's little Ben nodding off...
Monica: Aw, look at Aunt Monica's little boy!
Phoebe: Oh, look, he's got Ross's haircut!
Joey: You waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
Ross: No, no, no. I am not in the zone.
Joey: Ross, you're mayor of the zone.
(About Rachel and Paolo) What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (Pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Ross: A thumb?
Phoebe: I know. I know. I opened it up, and there is was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker.
Chandler: Maybe it's a contest, you know, like, "collect all five."
Joey: It's never gonna happen.
Ross: What?
Joey: You and Rachel!
