Popular Ross Geller Quotes
Ross: It's Paul the wine guy!
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or he just complains a lot?
Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Ross: You probably never knew this but back in high school I had a major crush on you.
Rachel: I knew.
Ross: You probably just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Rachel: I did.
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3 a.m., "I'll never have grandchildren! I'll never have grandchildren!" was what? A wrong number?
Ross: (About Carol being a lesbian) She didn't know! How should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. (Everyone turns to stare at him) Did I just say that out loud?
Ross: Okay! Okay. Look, I, uh, I realize you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal: Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Judy: (To Monica) You knew about this?
Ross: They want me to go down to this sonogram thing with them tomorrow. Remember back when life was simpler and she was just a lesbian?
Chandler: Ah, those were the days.
Ross: So what's new? Still...
Carol: A lesbian?
Ross: Well... you never know!
Monica: What you guys don't understand is that kissing is more important than any other part of it for us.
Joey: Yeah, right. (They all stare at him) You're serious?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Rachel: Everything that you need to know is in that first kiss.
Monica: Absolutely.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is an opening act, you know, like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. And it's not like that we don't like the comedian. It's just that that's not why we bought the ticket.
Chandler: You see, the problem is though, after the concert over, no matter how great the show was you girls are always looking for the comedian again. You know, and we're in the car, fighting traffic, basically just trying to stay awake.
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home listening to that album alone. (High-fives Monica)
Joey: Are we still talking about sex?
Ross: (Discussing baby names) What about Julia?
Carol: Julia!
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Ross: It's funny, we (Gestures to Carol) agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches!
Ross: (Picks up a surgical instrument) Quack quack. Quack quack. Quack.
Carol: Ross, that opens my cervix.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
