Favorite Ryan Howard Quotes
Ryan: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to do my presentation, and... of course, I was wrong to suggest that Dunder-Mifflin might ever go out of business. But you don't have to fire me.
Michael: Fire you? No, no no. You are moving... to the annex.
Ryan: To the annex? Where... Kelly is?
Michael: A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people and inspires people. ... People, Ryan. And people will never go out of business.
I am very flattered. I was his second choice after "Pass."
Welcome to the party, everyone have their Koooool-Aiiiiid?
Ryan: I just sent myself a woof.
Erin: Ryan, you have a Woof on Line 1.
Ryan: You should enter it in festivals.
Kevin: Or carnivals.
Michael: Let's get back to the matter at hand...
Pam: Whatever. You know. Sleep with my mom, sleep with everyone's mom!
Ryan: Whoa!! That's my mom you're talking about!
Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I've read some of it. Even for the Internet, it's... pretty shocking.
Michael: This is our warehouse. Or, as I like to call it, the whorehouse. But don't you call it that, I've earned the right.
Ryan: Fine, don't worry about that.
David: Michael, in order to expedite these negotiations, we are prepared to make you a very generous offer.
Michael: And we are prepared to reject that offer.
Ryan: Michael, you haven't even heard-
Michael: Never accept their first offer. What is your second offer?
David: $12,000.
Michael: Are you kidding me? That is insultingly low. I don't even want to hear what your first offer was.
Michael: Ryan, how are you today?
Ryan: Why don't you ask my therapist? My mom certainly pays her enough.
I ground up four extra-strength Aspirin and put them in Michael's pudding. I do the same with my dog to get him to take his heartworm medicine.
Ryan
Ryan: It wasn't personal.
Michael: Business is always personal. It's the most personal thing in the world. When we get back to the office, pack your things.
Ryan: Pack my-
Michael: You heard me, pack your things.
