It's not garbage, it's my clothes.

Pam: Tears of a clown.
Ryan: Don't call me a clown, Pam. You're better than that.

I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?

Darryl: Ryan was douche bag.
Ryan: Hey that's not a code name that's just an insult.
Oscar: Plus, everyone would know who you meant.
Ryan: Yeah.

I know you're my boss, but you need to get the hell out of my face.

When people see this presentation, they're gonna c** in their pants.

Ryan: I will have a glass of you oakiest chardonnay, please.
Erin: And I will have a waffle, with your mapleiest syrup.

Paramedic: You have appendicitis.
Ryan: Oh, who called it? Nothing but net.

Ryan: What were the criteria for going?
Dwight: It might be innate goodness versus innate badness.

Robert you got your sheep, and you got your black sheep, and I'm not even a sheep. I'm on the freakin' moon.

I'd like to make a toast. To the troops...all the troops...both sides.

Ryan: Everybody wants to be rich, but nobody wants to work for it.
Pam: You came in at 10:30 today right?

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael