Popular Ryan Howard Quotes
I ground up four extra-strength Aspirin and put them in Michael's pudding. I do the same with my dog to get him to take his heartworm medicine.
Ryan
Toby: [watches Ryan bite his string cheese] Wow, you just dive right in.
Ryan: You know, around age 12, I just started going for it.
Michael: Mmm... what flavor coffee is that... updog?
Ryan: What?
Michael: I dunno, nothing, what's up with you?
Ryan: Huh?
If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I'd ever been here. And I'd forget, too.
Ryan
Ryan: Creed? Did you organize the menu book?
Creed: Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis.
Ryan: No... it was mandatory.
Creed: Oh, I thought it was a volunteer thing.
Dwight: Do you think? Or do you know?
Ryan: I think.
Jim: What do you think of Kelly?
Ryan: I don't know. It depends if you like a little junk in the... [sees camera] She's really cool.
(about Kelly) I hooked up with her on February 13th.
Ryan
Stanley: That little girl is a child! I don't want see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand?
Ryan: Yes, I -
Stanley: Boy, have you lost your mind, cause I'll help you find it! Whatcha looking for, ain't nobody gonna help you out there, Jesus could come through that door, he's not going to help you, if you don't stop sniffing after my child!:
[cut to Ryan]
Ryan: Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.
Dwight: OK. I'm going to have to search your car. Give me your keys.
Ryan: I am not giving you my keys.
Dwight: Don't make me do this the hard way.
Ryan: What's the hard way?
Dwight: I go down to the police station, on my lunch break. I tell a police officer (I know several) what I suspect you may have in your car. He requests a hearing from a judge and obtains a search warrant. Once he has said warrant, he will drive over here and make you give him the keys to your car, and you will have to obey him.
Ryan: Yeah, let's do it that way.
Ryan: Hey, are you guys hiring?
Linda: You want to work at the urine analysis lab?
Ryan: Yeah. Maybe.
Michael: Jim, now is the time to stop putting Dwight's personal effects into jello.
Jim: Okay. Dwight, I'm sorry, because I've always been your biggest flan.
Michael: [laughs] Oh, nice!! That's the way it is around here, just kind of goes round and round and round...
Ryan: [playing along] You should have put him in custardy.
Michael: Oh, hey! Yes! New guy, and he scores!
