Favorite Sam Oliver Quotes
Sam: Sock, we almost got killed.
Sock: Whatever, we've almost been killed way worse than that
Andi: If there was a life or death situation, would you call Sock?
Sam: Probably not
Andi: If you wanted someone to make you toast, would you call Sock?
Sam: No
Sam: Yeah, well, I was being stupid.
Devil: Man to man? You always get a little stupid around that girl, Sam
Devil: He's been dating other women. Plural. Twins, to be exact.
Sam: What?
Devil: Ha. Dirty girls. Slutty. Oh, this player even makes me jealous
Leon: Tell me about your childhood.
Sam: My parents sold my soul to the Devil.
Leon: So, oohh, well... that's some abandonment and betrayal. And I'm gonna guess there was a lot of bedwetting
Devil: You know, I got to say, this is one of my greatest inventions.
Sam: You invented the lottery?
Devil: You betcha. State-sponsored gambling. Minimum wage earners spending their last buck on an 18 million to one long shot. I like to call it the idiot's tax
Sam: So, uh, what did I miss last night?
Sock: Oh dude, the bar was awesome. We had a great time.
Sam: Yeah?
Sock: Yeah.
Sam: What happened?
Sock: Uh, nothing happened. It was super boring. It sucked.
Sam: You just said it was awesome.
Sock: Yeah, I chose my words poorly, Sam
Sock: All right, listen to me. I'm not advocating violence here. But if you need to... uh... "take care of Greg," I know some people.
Sam: Yeah, I know the Devil. I think my people trump your people.
Sock: Yeah... Oh, yeah
Sam: What is Ted doing?
Andi: I put a note on his windshield. It says: "Sorry, I hit your car."
Sam: You hit Ted's car?
Andi: No.
Sam: Who did?
Andi: No one
Sam: Trade? Dad, I don't think you have anything to trade.
Mr. Oliver: I have skills, Sam. All the years in advertising, I can use those skills.
Sam: I don't... I just don't think you have anything the Devil needs.
Mr. Oliver: I've created cartoon mascots to sell cigarettes to kids, Sam. To kids. Tell the Devil that.
Sam: That's a good point
Devil: Forget about the contract.
Sam: No, no. I wanna see it.
Devil: But why?
Sam: Because I wanna know my rights.
Devil: Oh, that's easy. You don't have any
Sock: Can you turn your head all the way around?
Sam: Sock, I'm not possessed.
Sock: Yeah, okay.
Sam: My parents sold my soul to the Devil and I'm a bounty hunter for Hell. Totally different.
Sock: Have you even tried to turn your head all the way around?
Sam: Yeah, it totally doesn't work
