Schmidt Quotes
Season 2, Episode 23: "Virgins"
Schmidt: A tuxedo is different from a suit.
Nick: It is??!!
• Rating: Unrated
Cece: I thought I threw that thing out the window.
Schmidt: That only made it stronger.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: I'm going on a date with Elizabeth tonight. I haven't had sex with her since I was fat and accessing my penis was like getting a remote control out of the couch.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 2, Episode 22: "Bachelorette Party"
Schmidt: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Alyssa Milano's phone number just by randomly choosing numbers.
• Rating: Unrated
Shivrang's Aunt: Who is this?
Schmidt: I'm Gerard Depardieu. Who do you think I am, lady? I'm Schmidt.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: Please take that off, you look like a homeless pencil.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 21: "First Date"
Nick: Schmidt, I have to ask you a favor. It's about my clothes.
Schmidt: Burn them! Burn them all!
• Rating: Unrated
Schmidt: Here are some things you want to hide about yourself on tonight's date--you're cheap, you're a heavy drinker, you're broke, you have a problem with anger.
Winston: Your car is horrible.
• Rating: Unrated
Schmidt: You can't outrun the Jewish!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 20: "Chicago"
Schmidt: My face touched the mustache of a corpse today, Bobby. I'm not afraid of you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 91
