Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!

Nick: What does a man do about that pain?
Schmidt: Takes a bubble bath.

I don't understand. Is Toby your name?

You show up sick, you might as well be dead.

She lulled me to sleep and then she went rouge.

Jess: I just want to say I'm honored you're trusting me.
Schmidt: Oh, I'm not.

Please do not reach for it like you're Winston reaching for someones breast.

Today it's gas, tomorrow it's the local news.

I look like a 70's divorce attorney.

I never loved you more Cece!

Nick: Of course we make decisions. How do you think I'm wearing clothes right now?
Schmidt: I lay those out for you Nick.

I can't concentrate, it's filthy in here!

New Girl Quotes

Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick