My whole life is you.

I know you're a terrible liar, but I need you to lie to Cece.

I'm flying to Portent to try to get Cece's mom to come to the wedding.

Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!

Nick: What does a man do about that pain?
Schmidt: Takes a bubble bath.

I don't understand. Is Toby your name?

You show up sick, you might as well be dead.

She lulled me to sleep and then she went rouge.

Please do not reach for it like you're Winston reaching for someones breast.

Jess: I just want to say I'm honored you're trusting me.
Schmidt: Oh, I'm not.

Today it's gas, tomorrow it's the local news.

I look like a 70's divorce attorney.

New Girl Quotes

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick