I never loved you more Cece!

Nick: Of course we make decisions. How do you think I'm wearing clothes right now?
Schmidt: I lay those out for you Nick.

I can't concentrate, it's filthy in here!

Nick, we're making sex.

That was painful Nick! That's like watching Cece make a bed.

I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.

This woman is engaged. Her number belongs to God now, thank you.

I may have your entire life planned out on my computer. I made a spreadsheet and everything. I worked on it this morning.

You're my best friend in the whole world. We've been through a lot together so I just do feel like your sperm are partly my sperm.

They're reaching into your skin wallet. Your scrotum.

Nick: I'm trying my hardest to look poor.
Winston: You are poor.

Why are you putting spoons in the laundry hamper?

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt