Today it's gas, tomorrow it's the local news.

I look like a 70's divorce attorney.

I never loved you more Cece!

Nick: Of course we make decisions. How do you think I'm wearing clothes right now?
Schmidt: I lay those out for you Nick.

I can't concentrate, it's filthy in here!

Nick, we're making sex.

That was painful Nick! That's like watching Cece make a bed.

I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.

This woman is engaged. Her number belongs to God now, thank you.

I may have your entire life planned out on my computer. I made a spreadsheet and everything. I worked on it this morning.

You're my best friend in the whole world. We've been through a lot together so I just do feel like your sperm are partly my sperm.

They're reaching into your skin wallet. Your scrotum.

New Girl Quotes

You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

Jess

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick